Saturday, November 22, 2008

A skip of the heartbeat..No More IB Yeay!!

~background music : fire crackers,bombs,canon balls,guns~

actually tak tau nak rase mcm mana.i'm very relieved, but not too happy as i'm still so nervous waiting for the results in january. even when after french tadi we all (the girls je) jumped into the d'shire swimming pool (since the guards kat school tak bagi we all jump into the school's swimming pool without permission by a teacher, and fyi all teachers have gone for their kursus), i am very aware that the portrayal of happiness and excitement shown by the jumping and splashing and screaming and laughing does not reflect much of my feelings at that time at all, i jumped mainly for the sake of joining and making a splash of termination-beginning gap between ib and the upcoming new life of not sure yet what) i've done the best i can,prayed as hard as i can,i hope the outcome would be the best for me and family. Allah The Almigty knows.and i hope i'll have the strength of menerima segala ketentuan, frustration or nikmat dgn hati yg sabar and bersyukur. my dad always say, the greater the challenge, the more significant is Allah's love..i miss ayah..

Its been soo long since i 've been writing now mcm tak tau nk start kat mana though i know i've got plenty to blog about.i believe that i've been different eversince the few weeks before the exam. i'd shown most of my friends the worst of me at times and i do apologise. its not that i mean it..and i believe my friends especially my darling housemates had also shown the worst of guys realised kan that when i'm stressed up i'll spend all the time i can get to be quiet and isolated, most importantly to be alone. and different people act differently at times of stress as exemplified by you guys=) i've realised some becoming more sarcastic and cold and more of a teaser,and some increasing the nagging habit=P hehe and some increasing their complaints and nonsence was fun observing,but of course i didnt spend time observing much pun coz i was too busy with myself and my own emotions to bother others at first..until the epiphany (moment of realisation or moment of truth, remember literature students??)datang..when maryam cried and everybody berkumpul and start la all this sesi luahan hati as we called it.and everybody was like mmm...oooo...kenape???...dont worry.. haha. it felt so good kay again i'm sorry i was sarcastic( i was never sarcastic to you kan hehe) to maryam i'm sorry i lose myself into all those messiness, to my farah nasuha farinordin i'm terribly sooo sorry that i had forgotten your birthdayyyy huuuu mind was this the outcome of not taking english literature A1 seriously during the first year?i'm not quite sure. haha.

omg i really am gonna miss you ib mates la. i wonder how in the world we somehow MANAGED to get close to each other when we're all so very different in terms of everything! and i mean everything as in personality, physical caracteristics, tastes, needs and wants. i remember one time when me and my again beloved darling housies were lepak lepaking on the queen matress in the living room. remembered our dialogues in identifying one another's differences very well though not with any sequence..haha, see if you guys can identify who's who.

housie01: i rase smua org dlm rumah ni cacat except me and jiha je normal.

housie02: helllooooo you yg paling cacat.i tak penah jumpa anyone yg suara loudspeaker like you.

housie03: betul betul!i pun tak penah jumpa anyone yg suara kuat like you.

housie04: and i pun tak penah jumpa org yg boleh buat suara mcm soprano like you.

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila angkat phone nada dia hellooOOOO like you.

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg happy dgn a hair like yours.

housie05: i tak penah jumpa org yg feminine like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila jogging je sakit lutut terus like you

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg suka camwhore like you

housie05: i tak penah jumpa org yg boleh tak makan mcm you

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg menangis on the phone kuat2 like you

housie05: i tak penah jumpa org yg blur mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg ketawa kuat kuat mcm you

housie01: i tak penah jumpa org yg as messy as you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg kat atas table dia ada everything like you

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg as fair as you.

housie01: i tak penah jumpa org yg pemalas mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg suka nagging like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg boleh tido mana mana like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg tak makan batang sayur like you.

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg talkative gile non stop like you.

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila sneeze lawak like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg suara mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg fashion taste mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila lapar menangis mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg cakap ngn mak dia kuat mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg jalan mcm samseng like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg makan laju mcm you

5 je yg active talking at that tyme coz jiha tgh dgn laptop and only mendengar and laugh.and housie03 and housie01 suggested a lot of other "i tak penah jumpas" but i forgot da their ideas..yeah yeah we're all very much and widely diverted know, i believe kan, opposites do not attract, they only contribute to the sustainability of a relationship/friendship.they contribute to the tides and waves of the constant sea of human relation (thanks to faizal i'm kinda influenced by his use of metaphors) which invigorate the feelings and deepen the understandings.

to the june batch of 2007, i wish you guys the best of luck. i must agree with khairul in that i also think that it is too late to change a higher level subject from english a1 to malay a1, and i had personally told hanis and sofia this. coz seriously 6 more months to go, its quite short a time for such drastic change.but then again if you guys are confident in yourselves and in your choices, go ahead with it and i wish you good luck. but please take note that what khairul wrote in his blog is basically an opinion, something to think about, suggesting some perceptions which you might not have seen.i did not expect such emotional responses.

Friday, September 5, 2008



I wander’d lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch’d in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay;
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee;
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth

Saturday, August 16, 2008

and here comes the remedy.

MOCK'S OVER!!!!!!!

yipppeeeee!!! i feel like shouting and screaming and jumping and hugging people in joy after the last paper.wanted to shout out there and then








but of course can do.. sadly everybody else smua da balik. sad gille nak mampus. only those sitting for bio paper je yang pegi skola on thursday and friday, and after that last paper 3 kan….ehem…

in class the instant mr soong passed me by taking away the paper

me: siangie..(smiling to siang hang, he sat in front of me, the next row)
siang hang: finally ( he smiled)
ju anne : we're free ( smiled)

outside the class in the hallway by the classroom door

me: freedom comes in the end leganyeee but tak rasa happy sgt kan?
siang hang: ya laa, because all the others are not here to share our joy maa. so unfair. they can celebrate their happiness with us tapi kite..da too late.
me: yeah, and its damn quiet in the school jugak .if they're all in the apartment it wouldnt be too frustrating. the problem is, maryam and jiha da balik, agnes kat genting, and KAY's sleeping! i think i wanna call kay now lah, cant stand it.( and so i called her and happily woke her up)

and then me and ju anne went back in siangie's car.mcm tu je our so called YEAYYYY!! at school. sobs.=(

but putting that 'factor' of frustration aside, i am indeed very relieved that we'd all finished our trial. i think overall, i did quite ok la kot, emphasising the KOT, considering the few unsatisfying answers here and there, the few mistakes and carelessness in some, the few tak cukup masa, and the one BIG WORST FLUNKing ESSAY,.. All those blunders i think i can overrule them with more practice.


About 80 more days to go, and by November, hopefully I’ll have enough practices. This full format trial really wears me out. Why on earth didn't we have full format exams before? The school should provide us with more than one exposure of this, since last year lagi. Then only we wouldn't have been too surprised and stressed up for two whole weeks. And I could have had a better time management and practice in writing English essays. Feel like crying bila teringat balik that English paper. have you ever experienced finishing an essay which you're very sure that THAT is the best you can do and the best and only ideas you have, but at the same time you're also very VERY sure that THAT is inadequate, too vague plus lack of in depth analysis and that THAT could never guarantee you an A in English. Now when I think of fatin I’ll be thinking of “PEMIMPIIIIIIIN” (with fingers waving at each other).this is just what we all as pemimpin have to go through aite fatin? kita pemimpin.=)

My plan for this holiday. The theme of my august holiday is…

Date with the past years Qs.


Read ‘An Evil Cradling’ and ‘Wind Sand and Stars’


Do all economics past years’ questions


Do all mathematics past years’ questions


Bio. Read biology. Finish up the whole option G and option H. and half of the core subject at least.


Do all business and management past years’ questions


French essays. Practice. And also grammar and vocab.

My 7 year old brother Thalhah pun baru finished his test recently and mak called me just to talk about how funny his answers were, especially for BM.

One question:

Ini adalah baju _________.

Thalhah’s answer: Ini adalah baju SEMBAHYANG!

And he said “sbb kan ayah pakai baju ni kalau sembahyang..

Ini adalah ­_________.

Thalhah’s answer: Ini adalah AYAH!

and when asked why he didn’t write down DOCTOR, he said

“sebab man tu nampak mcm ayah je..”

For English, there’s this nursery rhyme, where you have to fill in the blank of the third and fourth lines so that it is similar to the first and second like this:

Piece porridge hot piece porridge cold

Piece porridge in the pot nine days old

Father like it hot father like it cold

Father like it in the pot nine days old

But thalhah wrote:

Piece porridge hot piece porridge cold

Piece porridge I the pot nine days old

Father likes it COLD father likes it COLD

Father likes it in the pot ONE days old.

When asked he said “sebab thalhah rase ayah tak suka makan porridge yg panas sgt and sbb thalhah rasa ayah tak suka makan porridge yang dah lama sampai 9 days old!”

Everything is related to ayah. And as I laughed out loud with my mum over his answers.( well, for one thing, he didn’t go to kindergarten, so this is kinda like his first year really sitting for formal tests, so all of us are very excited in keeping up with how he’s coping), I realised that actually kan, his answers are in fact clever ones. the justifications are arguable for a seven year old. He actually took the effort in understanding the meaning of the words and visualising the pictures and their functions. And he answered based on those creative thoughts, and not based on what the question typed asked for.

Now THAT is the Child Mozart in you, THAT is the Child Mozart that hasn’t been destroyed and kept unattended in the inner garden of the mind, THAT is the work of the GARDENER the guardian of the inner wisdom and THAT is the real MAN, with the spirit breathed upon the clay.

The education system I think to some extent brings the machine-like systematic thinking out of children. maybe its because of the ways the teachers teach which lead to less imagination, I don’t know, coz ye la kan, I came from this same education system jugak. Like what mr masukor says, mathematics actually comes from imagination, it is when you visualise the maths and problems and not seeing it through the numbers on the paper.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

tick tock..4 minutes.

Assalamualaikum.Saya sebagai Menteri Belia dan Sukan Sri KDU mengalu alukan warga IB utk active menonton SUKAN Olimpik Beijing.Mari kita sama2 mencontohi naziha abdullah yang always thinks about badminton until she HAS to refer batman as badminton, dan awang mohd faizal yang is very concerned about the time we had to go to nadiya's bithday party so as not to clash with Olympic on tv, and be enthusiastic and excited like them dlm menyokong industri sukan dunia.oh yeah! Semoga kita semua sihat wal'afiat insyaAllah.Saya yng menurut perintah: fatimah zahra.

formal enough?

two more subjects to go for mock exam.The two most fretted killer subjects -


i doubt whether i can memorise all...


analysing peoms and literature works..comparing and contrasting the evil cradling and wind,sand and stars..

practice zahra.

and a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY i wish to the 7th august girls

and darling AINUL MARDHIAH
i wish the three of you all the best things in life.

...hurm..teringat pulak the topic debate during f3, 'all the best things in life are free'.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

no food..

go makan at Deli!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

how about a round of applause

what a day today...lets list down the important incidents i wouldnt wanna forget when i'm over with IB.ahahaha.

first of all, theres our huck finn presentation!my gawd,thank you guys, we were great!..and funny laa.haha.even dr reed laughed out loud!hafiz, you and your tanned' skin colour really reflected jim very well, and the way you row the raft is soooooo NOT like a nigger that it looks wierd, and then you hiding under the blanket attempting to hide from me and fatin is so un'sivilised'.haha.and then theres paoe the goody two shoes sound heart in white, and cousin syed the racist devil deformed conscience in red.both of them played their roles very well.aleen too, the unreliable narrator huck finn,she managed to portray a confused looking huck, pathetic at first yet steady wooo steady.hahaha.i guess its coz she just got her conditional letter from victoria uni in wellington,she's in a very happy mood.congrats leen!!!!i'm so proud of you.haih,but bila my conditional letters nak smpai.i really hope would be nice..anu too..(dreamy eyes).anyway,back to the acts, we were very good.the act was well done.ahah, and of course la because of me and fatin,the two most important characters in the act!MUAHAHAHA!i think the problem about our orchestrations so far is, that none of us ever played the characters similar to our own characters in class.i mean, for example,paoe, being boss(he's not that pathetic), sound heart (he's not that kind hahaha)and julius caesar(err??..).but syed is an exceptional la as he always gets the bad guy character, brutus(the killer),zorba(the free spirited man who curses a lot), and the deformed conscience(the bad bad southerners), kinda similar to him in some ways hahahahaha no offense syed.

and ib won many medals and trophies today!the dance!the best debaters for english and mandarin!good good, go ib.we even skipped miss harjit's weekly test to cheer on siang hang and jon mah going up on stage.well, she grumbled la, and unfortunately increased the questions to 6 questions instead of 1,and kept telling us to do it and if possible try to do it in class jugak.(which yvonne did)

and me and pao had our conversation on observation of the day..

paoe:do you think eggie is beautiful?
me:yeah, what about you?
paoe:actually she's quite beautiful la.
me:she does look like amber chia kan?
paoe:amber chia?i dont think you think juanne's beautiful?
me:yeah, juanne tu of course la,inside and outside beautiful.
pao:haha,yeah, inside and outside..hey..see what she's doing..
such beauty..hahhahahahahahaha.

but i dont know, i wasnt motivated today,in almost everything i did.i had quite a lot of misunderstandings with many people lah this week.i think its my i too sensitive? i too sensitive?am i too sensitive?am i too sensitive?am i too sensitive?i should say nO and try attracting that answer to come with THE LAW OF ATTRACTION!

Monday, May 19, 2008

the toll for my complete ignorance

i asked the stupidest question ever to jiha..and i regret for even thinking about asking her such stupid question.

"is thomas cup a football championship?"

and she started laughing like a mad cow, and i laughed and blushed like a mad cow jugak.
my ignorance to sports and games has created me to be so outdated! aaaaahhh!! i need sports!!
time for a change of attitude.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

the game of the week

i still cant believe we played ayam and musang tadi..i had stopped playing that game for almost 8 years.after cramming in the van swimming was good. plus main that kejar2 game with the newly befriended kids ismah and wazir.there are many points in time where i shifted into the eyes of people passing around and i asked myself what the heck am i playing ayam and musang in the water and laughing my head off like mad like i've never played this before.

budak ismah: tok tok, nak pinjam kunci
budak wazir :nah tapi jgn hilangkan
ismah(getting the ball down under her body and through two feet, the ball jumped up to the surface and was caught by aleen)
aleen:oooo kene buat mcm tu ke..(did the same and fatin caught it)
fatin giggling:(here you go zack, kentut bola)
i caught it and did the same to kay
and kay got the ball down through her two feet, mumbling "i can't believe we're doing this"
budak ismah:tok tok nak kunci
budak wazir:dah bagi dah kan
budak ismah:bagi kat die
aleen:bagi kat die
fatin:bagi kat dia
me:bagi kat dia

and then it all started.the screaming, the shouting, the jumping,the tarik2 baju with kay screaming "shit i'm the last anak ayam!!",the clinging onto each other with feet around the others' waists,the running in the water,the hiding behind the small little ismah who obviously can do very little in keeping us alive..

and the budak wazir easily tangkap la all of us in the end..each one of us panting and laughing, still hugging each other..and in the end fatin quits, not liking the game=(

looking back, it has been a while since i laugh byk2 like that till my stomach hurts and i had to stop for's been a while..and it felt some extent fun being stupid and play boring old children games. my 19 years of age, i think about closely to 80% is spent on studying. should have bring it down to 50%.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Tribute to teachers

Teachers are all different and they teach you in different ways of different things. You get teachers like Dr Reed and Teacher Rozie, who are such perfectionist that they tend to complain, get angry easily sometimes too often,and never hesitate to scold you harshly even your slightest mistake.You might respect them or you might be scared and end up hating them.. You get teachers like Miss Harjit, Cikgu Noterzam, Teacher Ziela who show more of their motherly love side to each and every one of their students, regardless of their achievements and attitude..well. maybe to some certain extent..and they give you more motivation in being humans with feelings and consideration rather than excellent robots with big brains and ideas.And then we have those discipline teachers who knows nothing about smiles and jokes, only rules and rules and more rules. and also those who are damn dedicated like Mr Lawrence-the-in-the-lab-sleeper, Cikgu Ramli and Cikgu Mat Daud, that you never have the feeling of boredom in their classes and you feel that you HAVE to get A in their subject as you'd feel guilty if their hard work is not paid off. And of course lah we have those teachers who don't really teach..procrastinate a lot and tend to talk of irrelevant memories and theories in class which for some students, are very irritating. One thing i learned after all these schooling is, that teachers are all there to help you learn more about yourself. Whether they are good teachers or bad teachers, it is not for us to judge. The more we complain about them the stupider we get.And the stupider we get..well..then we just wont learn anything.Each teacher contributes to your understanding of the world, of human behaviour, of theories and knowledge, of responsibility, of hopes and aims for the future.Even the worst ones give you an example of a bad employee, a figure whom you should not become one.. by 30 you'll be looking back at your life and you'll realise how much teachers have influenced your characters and attitudes in facing the world. and i mean SCHOOL TEACHERS.

Sri KDU International Baccalaureatte Diploma Programme Teachers=)

Monday, April 21, 2008

The time should have been loong ago instead of NOW.

Here i am early in morning thinking of tomorrow. Feel like failing my IB.

Things to do MONDAY:

1 EE. Wanna check my EE again pleeeaaasssseeee Miss Harjit pleeeaseee..i'm all on my knees. on all four if i must.
2 Biology reports..Forgot the AIM for report 5 and 6..gotta ask Mr Lawrence.
3 Business Commentary.Geram with MR Das.gotta review the topic with him again.
4 Maths IA. wanna check my previous IAs and ask his comments bout them.
5 English oral. Huck Finn! i NEED a perfect 7 FAST.
6 CAS forms. err..

suddenly rase unconfident pulak with myself, with fayzal telling me that both of us haven't been improving while the others have.( based on the 2nd evaluation la).

no more procastination. go go zahra the (as fatin says), the maths IA girl!