Wednesday, December 23, 2009

when painting wont do

ask me for an advice,i'll tell you to try your hand on painting if not drawing. i believe indulging your mind into those tit bits of every dot can swing your whole view point to another height. ok,farisa roslan would say i'm being my over exxagerating self again, but its true!try it.

one time during this summer break, i tried to do this family portrait. its still there, right in front of me depan this laptop, unfinished, coz i couldnt help laughing every time i try to continue.

you see, there i was with the family photo in one hand and a pencil in the other, having finished sketching mak,ainul,mine,nisa,ifa and ayah's head and then perfectly trying to sketch ayah's t-shirt, which is crumpled from holding newborn baby ifa. the baju was rather difficult to be sketched as i could not figure out how the shape of the baju could come out to be.its like there are many extra lumps of red cloth on ayah's red t shirt, on the left i sat there for bout a few minutes wondering what in the world that cloth is. in the picture, nisa seemed to be sitting on the sofa head right behind him, so there's no way by any chance the cloth could be hers..unless she wasnt sitting on the sofa head, but leaning on ayah's back with her kaki tangled to his side till her red shorts kind of nampak mcm ayah's own red baju. and the latter true..somehow all this realisation seemed too humorous to me as i connected how the real shape of nisa's red shorts should look like to the one i've drawn as ayah's extra piece of cloth, thus i couldnt stop laughing and cursing little nisa for sitting on top of poor old ayah (who in the picture doesnt seem to mind), and for making me confused.knowing nisa, should she know that in the future i would get my hands randomly on this photo and examine her so called princess-like position,she'd position herself a lil bit better.but who can guess the future huh.

pictures do tell a thousand of stories yeah..and when you draw the little bits and pieces, there tend to be some funny sides of it too, the ones you tend to miss if you only look at it by a glance of two.drawing makes you appreciate stuffs,and further comprehend them. so do try.
and another thing i realised, its much more difficult to draw the smiley faces of the ones who are not with you anymore..and your own smiley faces when you were with them.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

ramadhan the first with love

yesterday which was first of ramadhan, a friend of mine's grandmother,passed away.and what's more,she died after we finished our solat tarawih here in melbourne,which means,sana kat malaysia,it would have been during maghrib;which means betul2 the start of ramadhan.may that be the best for her. from Allah we came and to Allah we'll

one thing i realised early this year kan,when my sister nisa was sent to hospital was,that it hurt me so badly to know that she was suffering in pain.even though i wasnt even there to see her cry,or to witness the operation and all,the thought of her "feeling" the pain and being frightened, the thought of me unable to do anything to ease her burden and share the kesakitan,and the thought of her having to go through all those scary stages of operation alone,and most importantly,the though of how my mum is feeling,were enough for me to be disturbed every single day and to cry as well.i have always wanted (and "tried" though many many many countless times failed) to be the one whom my sisters can turn to,and seek advice from etc.and the feeling of unable to save nisa then, was seriously terribly saddening,almost like a failure of myself.

anyway,back to what i realised hehe,it was that,what if i can see nisa suffering from death itself?that would be more traumatic kot,to the power of infinity.lets say she dies (ya Allah panjangkanlah umur adikku) if i can actually see and know how she is being questioned,how she is being treated by the malaikats and etc...and the fact of how multipliedly frightened she'll be, coz she'll have to experience all that alone without suport too,imply how much MORE helpless i will be nanti.i cant imagine how i am going to feel if i ever be given the chance to witness THAT.

if we see someone whom we have loved and taken care of,whom we have groomed from kecik sampai besar,whom we have helped and protected from harm,if we see that someone being tortured nanti (na'uzubillah)..that would surely excruciatingly disturb us so much more than if we see him or her being tortured by a painful illness here on earth kan?clearly humans are so powerless,not just for their family but even for our own FRUSTRATING is that?..see how much we actually need Allah's forgiveness and blessings and help?.

may my friend's grandmother be given forgiveness,dan dimudahkan urusannya.amin~

and happy fasting everyone!
happy fasting aleen,fatin,kay,fida,jiha,maryam,aiman,pau,amien,mirul,khairul,osem,hafiz!!
happy fasting bila,ain,ejan,suha,piya,che nat,pikah,kuya,nana,sya.
happy fasting hannah,ainin,zuhra,awin,tihah,mek yah!
i love you all.

BY THE WAY!!its almost spring here! leaves are popping time ni i walked along a pathway with trees and flowers along both sides,and omg,the air actually smells!
i was like,"wait,am i just imagining this, but is the pollen-concentration betul2 high?" gile jakun.
here are some pictures i took of half blooming/already bloomed flowers on the way to uni=D
have no idea the names of these plants,i should go check them out.and there are a lot more photos,maybe i'll upload them later.cheers!!!!


Monday, May 25, 2009

exam rush

final exam's on the way in two weeks tyme..
wish me luck people..
and oh aleen and fatin,do invite me smula to read your blog.grrr

Sunday, April 5, 2009

some reflections of what we are..

ahahaha sorry people for late posts..its not that i have been so occupied with stuffs (i'm still an active facebook member) ..its just that i've been having so many things to talk about but then i kept thinking that i should keep them to myself and express to others whom i'll be meeting face to face..get what i mean?and sometimes i try to type them down and they went up to be so long that i decided that its too long for a post so i deleted them again and again.kenapa laaa begini..aleen,fatin,kay,mary i need you to check my essays hmm..

anyway,melbourne is indeed very nice,though nice is too simple for a description.i'm staying in a students apartment, alone,hopefully planning to move out ngn azeem next year and live together kat another block.=) there have been a lot of open houses and a lot of garage sales lately,even yesterday agnes and ze ying went to a garage sale somewhere,and another one they went last two weeks ago.omg the garage sales here are worth it believe me,so people coming to melb,inform me if nk cari cheap stuffs,i know where=)

the days are sometimes hot yeah,but the winds are basically always always cold,so knowing myself yg tak tahan sejuk,i'll bring along a jacket or sweater everytime i go out just in case.but its sooo kering.reminder to others who are coming to any parts of australia:pakai moisturisers and creams and minum banyak air.if in malaysia you drink 8 glasses everyday,try to get ten glasses everyday in aust..insyaAllah water wont kill you ha3.

one thing that kept me thinking..ever since the last few years people have been asking me (i'm not sure whether its randomly or purposely) about whether i'm an extremist or not..even during ib some people come up to me utk tanya zahra you're not an extreme muslim kan?even here in melbourne i got a few people asking me the same thing..

can i get things some future askers and future answerers/explainers..i dont think there should be any labelling between muslims. and i dont agree with muslims saying that they are not an extremist,coz to me, i think if you are a true muslim or if you are trying to be a true muslim, then you should be an extremist.being a muslim simply means penyerahan diri sepenuh penuhnya to the one and only God.isnt that an extreme already?you dont divide any other attention,or purpose or reason for living other than for Allah SWT.and every single day you claim that ibadatku,hidupku,matiku hanyalah utk Allah SWT during your prayers.if you are a true muslim then you should understand what you are saying.and if you understand then you should also mean it,that everything is really is only for Allah if everything is for Allah SWT,then that is an enough definition for an extreme kan?everyday,you vow to be an extremist,and so everyday you should berusaha utk menjadi one.

its only when the misguided definition of an extreme muslim happens that we muslims ourselves think that being a lesser extremist is better and more closer to the real meaning of a true muslim.coz if you label terrorists who kill non muslims who havent done them any harm as extremists,that doesnt really show an extremist of islam coz they did not fully embody the islamic moral and teachings which strictly prohibited muslims from endangering non muslims who didn't start the attack,and that attacks on a muslim's part should only be for self defence..coz an extreme muslim would be treating non muslims gently and respectfully coz Allah told us to, and would be telling the truth about everything coz Allah told us to, and would never harm someone else's body and properties coz Allah told us not to, and would help his or her brothers and sisters coz Allah told us to and would only talk when necessary and when it would bring goodness to talk because Alah told us to..these are extremes,coz you only do goodness to other people and to yourself because of Allah,and because you bow to Allah's orders and not to anyone or anything else.everything that you do is not because of a simple lust, instead you develop your lust and your wants and your characteristics/personality in line with what Allah told you to be.i think that's extreme enough, and yes we should be an extreme in seeking and doing be proud to be one(and be proud to try to be one).=)

and talking about a true muslim,learning the meaning of Qur'an and hadiths is an obligation for all muslims,so all of us should study and understand what being a muslim stands for, and practice it.we always admire those people who have reverted to Islam,thinking that they have gone through all the thinking and learning processes and finally achieved their best own decision and understanding of the true belief so they have reached a high level of kemanisan iman..but that is actually compulsary for all of us,not just for a non muslim who is seeking the truth but also for us muslims who also should be seeking.

one of the reasons for syirik is because of mengikut the footsteps of nenek moyang.the people of jahiliyyah followed the teachings and actions of their fathers without questioning and,what would you do if you're not borned and raised as a muslim?..would you simply follow your parents' religions and beliefs without further studying them?ask yourselves..maybe because you're scared they'd disown you if you convert to another religion or something of your own personal conflicts..

dont you think that if you claim to be a muslim,just because you're borned as one and not because you really understand it and fully practise it,then you'd kinda be just the same as mengikut the footsteps of others and the nenek moyangs which thus means that you're not really a true muslim?...

then you cant just simply claim that you'll get to heaven jugak in the end coz you've already stated the kalimah syahadah and thus you're officially a muslim already. that is truely a lie,you're lying to yourself and to others, but of course never to Allah swt..dont expect much happy endings if you're only a muslim by words and physical..we need to seek it too,not just a non is indeed a kewajiban,so dont take it easy.learn.and learn some more..

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


it's nice=)

Sunday, January 18, 2009

the cartoons

you know that people say that tv programmes influence your kids?do you believe it?to a large or small extent??

i dislike Courage the cowardly dog
coz i think i saw some kid acting like one
i dislike pingu
coz i think i saw some kid walking like one
i dislike spongebob
coz i think i saw some kid talking like one

uuughhh but who cant protect everyone from everything kan.they're all in the process of growing up and learning..and the childhood years of "believing in the magical world of imagination"