one thing i realised early this year kan,when my sister nisa was sent to hospital was,that it hurt me so badly to know that she was suffering in pain.even though i wasnt even there to see her cry,or to witness the operation and all,the thought of her "feeling" the pain and being frightened, the thought of me unable to do anything to ease her burden and share the kesakitan,and the thought of her having to go through all those scary stages of operation alone,and most importantly,the though of how my mum is feeling,were enough for me to be disturbed every single day and to cry as well.i have always wanted (and "tried" though many many many countless times failed) to be the one whom my sisters can turn to,and seek advice from etc.and the feeling of unable to save nisa then, was seriously terribly saddening,almost like a failure of myself.
anyway,back to what i realised hehe,it was that,what if i can see nisa suffering from death itself?that would be more traumatic kot,to the power of infinity.lets say she dies (ya Allah panjangkanlah umur adikku) if i can actually see and know how she is being questioned,how she is being treated by the malaikats and etc...and the fact of how multipliedly frightened she'll be, coz she'll have to experience all that alone without suport too,imply how much MORE helpless i will be nanti.i cant imagine how i am going to feel if i ever be given the chance to witness THAT.
if we see someone whom we have loved and taken care of,whom we have groomed from kecik sampai besar,whom we have helped and protected from harm,if we see that someone being tortured nanti (na'uzubillah)..that would surely excruciatingly disturb us so much more than if we see him or her being tortured by a painful illness here on earth kan?clearly humans are so powerless,not just for their family but even for our own selves.how FRUSTRATING is that?..see how much we actually need Allah's forgiveness and blessings and help?.
may my friend's grandmother be given forgiveness,dan dimudahkan urusannya.amin~
and happy fasting everyone!
happy fasting aleen,fatin,kay,fida,jiha,maryam,aiman,pau,amien,mirul,khairul,osem,hafiz!!
happy fasting bila,ain,ejan,suha,piya,che nat,pikah,kuya,nana,sya.
happy fasting hannah,ainin,zuhra,awin,tihah,mek yah!
i love you all.
BY THE WAY!!its almost spring here!weeeeeeeeeeee.new leaves are popping out.one time ni i walked along a pathway with trees and flowers along both sides,and omg,the air actually smells!
i was like,"wait,am i just imagining this, but is the pollen-concentration betul2 high?" gile jakun.
here are some pictures i took of half blooming/already bloomed flowers on the way to uni=D
have no idea the names of these plants,i should go check them out.and there are a lot more photos,maybe i'll upload them later.cheers!!!!
n
