Hey Ho Lo and Behold.

Kerja Kita Lebih Banyak Daripada Masa Yang Ada

2012-01-31T10:30:00.018+08:00

Being a musafir is fun as well as beneficial. You see people, you see the world, and you get thousands of ways to feel closer to Allah.

The night of 22^nd jan marked my last night with Azeem in melb, together as students. We’ve had our fair share of moments and now it’s time to say goodbye, just as expected since the very beginning of 2009. Tears of sebakness streaked down my face again as I remembered, yet again, the good old times we’ve shared, from conflicts to apologies, from I’m-gonna-die-in-this-pet-camp to oh-yeah-comfy-cs-apartments, from tears-of-joy to tears-of-sorrow, from bookworming-in-the-libraries to phototakings-in-the-suburbs, from stressing-my-mind-crazy to after-exam-detox, from nothing-to-do-ness to too-much-work-ness, from insecurity-of-the-future to contentment-of-the-present, from I’ve-had-enough-of-you’s to am-missing-you’s, from you’re-embarassing-me to all-right-i-trust-you, from annoyance to acceptance, from pillow talks to speeches, from secrets to sharings, from feverish selesema mornings to sweaty sporty evenings. Yeapp, we’ve had our moments. Tsk tsk...

Tskkkkkkkk *blow nose*

I’ve said goodbyes to a lot of friends before, its nothing new. And its not like the end of an ukhuwah either. We can contact online, if not via phone calls. For sure we’ll see each other again iA, the catch is, we’ll be students no more, and that’s a BIG deal. Despite adulthood being a stage of life we’re both eager to experience, we’ll be having bigger commitments and bigger fish to fry, and less time for you-and-I. As I imagined my soon to come missing-close-friend-syndrome and coming up with strategies to combat its possible resulting emotional distress, my mind wandered to the kind of friend each of us has been.

Dear Zm,

Thank you for being the shoulder I lean on, my punching bag, my pillar of strength, and thank you for letting me be the shoulder you lean on,your punching bag, your pillar of strength. Thank you for being my personal mentor and thank you for allowing me be yours. Thank you for being a part of my growing up and I hope I played a good role in your growing up too. Jazakillah khayr. Moga terus tsabat,

Hugs, Z.

The best kind of friend is the one whom when you look at her, she increases your taqwa:

Dari Ibnu Abas r.a berkata, Rasulullah ditanya : Siapakah di antara teman-teman kami yang paling baik? Rasulullah menjawab, "Seseorang yang mengingatkan kalian kepada Allah dengan melihat wajahnya, menambah ilmu kalian dengan pembicaraannya dan mengingatkan kalian dengan akhirat oleh amalanya."

( HR: Imam Abdu bin Humaid)

And one of the best gifts in life is a good companion. One of the best perhiasan dunia is wanita solehah (HR Muslim), and some of your vital needs after death are doa anak yg soleh (HR Muslim) and pahala anak yang ber’amal dengan al qur’an (HR Ahmad)

How great is it to have these jannah helpers always by our sides. Either as a friend, as a daughter or as a wife, we girls have so many opportunities to be one, to find one and to make one. IA. Lets never stop reminding and racing each other towards becoming as solehah as we can ever be.

2:148 + 3:133 : Quick

Everybody wants the best, everybody wants syurga. The problem is many of us are too occupied tending to our mixed priorities, thus hindering us from selecting the best deed, gaining the best reward and reaching the highest point. For instance, how many of us try our hardest to be the best kind of friend as stated in the above hadith? It really is difficult to get disciplined and rational minded when your al hawa’ keeps pulling you to the other side. Not to mention the whisperings and temptations of shaytan everywhere. Understanding Fiqh al awlawiyat iA can help us make wiser choices in our everyday life bi iznillah. In economics the term would be for us to make more efficient allocation of our limited resources. By limited, think about time, energy, health, money, intellect, raw materials, people...

With our limited resources of almost EVERYTHING, its all the more reasons for us to properly select our ‘amal and improve our efficiency and capabilities.

Examples of the ‘amalan that should be more prioritised as they're more loved by Allah, ( in my own words, bear with it ) =_=

- Org yg paling dikasihi Allah swt is org yg paling bermanfaat. And perbuatan yang paling dikasihi Allah swt is kegembiraan yg dimasukkan ke dlm diri seorang muslim ... And it is better to walk with someone utk satu keperluan da’wah than beri’tikaf in masjid for a month. (HR Thabrani)

- It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad; and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent; but silence is better than idle words."
(HR Bukhari)

- It is better to solat awal waktu than berbuat baik to your parents, and it is better to be kind to your parents than berjihad (HR Muslim)

- It is better to become a mu’min yg kuat rather than being a mu’min yg lemah (HR Muslim)

- It is better to participate in (medan Jihad) di jalan Allah than bersolat di rumah for 70 years. (HR Tirmizi)

Even on personal love we have priorities: Love Allah and Rasul more than you love your parents, for a daughter. Love Allah and Rasul more than you love your husband, for a wife. And love your parents / husband more than you love yourself. For they (and by loving them) hold the keys to your heaven and hell. I read this somewhere. Errkkk, scaryyyyyyyy *biting nails* And at the same time, you won’t complete your iman until you love all your muslimin wal muslimat as much as you love yourself (HR Bukhari).

And many many more, not only on the individual basis but also on the community level. So at every second, train your mind to recall the more prioritised ‘amal, and train your body and al hawa’ to adhere to and prefer it. (there’s a hadis regarding this, x sempat nak quote) At every chance you get, perbaharukan niat and consistently weigh your deeds and options. Be your own self observer, and have taqwa.

This is of course not undermining the less prioritised ‘amal. They’re still ‘amal, not sins, and if you opt for them instead they’ll still iA menghasilkan buah.

Another thing to note is that different people have different capabilities, therefore have different priorities in contribution.

"Orang kaya yang memiliki banyak harta, dan hatinya merasa sayang untuk menyumbangkan hartanya itu: maka sadaqah hartanya dan kerelaan hatinya untuk menyumbangkan hartanya itu lebih utama baginya dibandingkan qiyamullail dan berpuasa sunnah di siang hari. Orang yang berani dan kuat, yang ditakuti musuh: keikutsertaannya dalam pasukan jihad walau sebentar, dan berjihad melawan musuh-musuh Allah, baginya lebih utama dibandingkan melaksanakan ibadah haji, berpuasa, bersedekah dan melakukan ibadah sunnah. Orang yang berpengetahuan, yang mengetahui sunnah nabi, ilmu halal haram, dan ilmu tentang mana yang baik dan mana yang tercela menurut agama: baginya bergaul dengan manusia, mengajarkan mereka, dan memberikan mereka nasiat dalam agama, itu lebih utama daripada mengucilkan diri, menghabiskan waktunya untuk solat, membaca al Qur'an dan bertasbih. Pejabat pemerintah yang memegang urusan manusia: baginya duduk sbentar untuk mengurusi perkara masyarakat, membantu orang yang dizalimi, menjalankan hadd Allah, membantu pihak yang benar, melawan pihak yang salah, itu lebih utama baginya daripada beribadah bertahun tahun." ( 'Uddatu as Shaabiriin wa Dzakhiiratu asy Syaakiriin)

Which one are we ?

A gift of tazkirah for you zm! Reminders can go a long way iAllah. Haaa! apa take home msg? Homework: cari and buat some more amal2 yang awliya’=P Jom mengarang manusia. Take care and keep in touch <3

Allah al Wali

2012-01-17T07:52:00.007+08:00

yesterday evening was soooooooooooooooooooooooo.., i cant find words to describe it but, i pray Allah would always keep me reminded of those intense feeling of pasrah and reliance on Him. please dont let me forget, please guide me towards the path of those who are forever bertaqwa. havent felt such nervousness, non study oriented nervousness, for a very very long time..maybe ever since my first flight to australia. always have a good laugh everytime i recall those moments on the plane, me, being scared of heights, did everything in my power that came to mind to meditate (forcefully), be it, berzikir out loud, much to the embarrassment of azeem and iman next to me haha.

so yesterday was a very similar case, and i do not know why! sleepless nights of thinking, wondering, practicing and praying did no good to help me relax. and i think i flunked it.. 1st impression: FAILED.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! T_T
may Allah bring out the best of everything.

from another point of view, i appreciate this feeling of total helplessness and in desperate need of support from the All Mighty. wouldnt mind having to face it everyday, at least that would get me constantly reminded and on my toes.

hey, by the way, its interesting to note that the english idiom of "on your toes" is in line with the islamic comparison of taqwa.

being on your toes would generally refer to someone being alert and always ready to go/ react, right?.

while taqwa can be compared to as walking through a narrow path with thorny bushes on both sides and the person walking though tries his best to keep his clothes from being torn, with the clothes resembling iman and the thorns resembling sins. this opinion of one salaf illustrated a picture of a person walking on tip toes and being alert on the every location of the thorns.

so when you look at your feet and toes, remember how cautious you should be, how you should always be on your toes regarding everything every time.

back to yesterday. i didnt eat the whole day, and i couldnt really sleep the night before. but i'm still energetic and 'on my toes' when evening comes haha. must be the nervous hormones keeping me awake. hmm, they're pretty handy when caffeine is not around yea. so thankful for this amazing experience, strengthening my belief on my everlasting unconditional need for Allah al Waliy.

ya Allah al Waliyy, ya Allah al Waliyy, ya Allah al Waliyy
ya Allah my Wali, ya Allah my Protector, ya Allah my Guardian.

the example of Allah as al Waliyy is significant in many surahs in the alqur'an, from how Allah is the Wali when Rasulullah saw and his friend were in the cave when the Quraisy were searching for them and were just near the cave entrance, to how Allah was the Wali to Nabi Yusuf as. his whole life was dependent on the mercy of Allah swt.

yusuf as said,

12:101: "Creator of the heavens and earth, You are my Wali in this world and in the Hereafter"

and indeed,

2:257: "Allah is the Wali of those who believe"

when a girl is to get married, her father (or her other closest adult male relative) is the wali, to hand her over to the future husband. for the wife, its the husband.

for children, the father/mother is the wali in all their affairs, be it in signing school record books and payments, or just in any mischief they do. when neighbours get angry, they complain to the father/mother.

for orphans, their wali might be their nearest relative alive, or they may get adopted and have a non blood related person as their wali.

for a person in court, her wali is her lawyer whom she trusts, fighting for her best interest.

wali is simply, the one who has custody over us, who is our guardian and helper, closest friend whom we can put our whole trust and reliance on. the wali is the the one who talks on our behalf, the one whom our actions and decisions are based upon and the one to whom we seek refuge to.

and on top of all these mortal walis of ours, is the most perfect, our ilah, our rabb, Allah al Wali.

may Allah increase our iman, and our iman in Him as our ultimate, sole, one and only al Waliyy.

with al haq

2012-01-12T14:14:00.001+08:00

2011 has gone so fast! think last year was the year that went fastest pour moi! undoubtedly due to the busy schedules. and summer in melb was the bomb man, c'est the truth. merci beaucoup to all my guests and friends who stayed for summer, you girls made my months, holidays not to forget. alhamdulillah.

and last year was also the toughest of the toughest of years so far! phewww to have survived alive still standing. i will soooo miss my friends :') you girls were with me through the thick and thin, only Allah can repay, i pray. xxxx

and jan 2012 welcomed me with such good news and hopes, thank you Allah, thank you Allah. alhamdulillah alhamdulillah..

c'est la vie of a student. you study hard, and long for the holidays. you struggle, and then you rest.

after hardship comes ease, after hardship comes ease.

how easy was it for Rasulullah to submit to these words when they were first revealed? people threatened him, Muslims were tortured, hatred towards the muslim minority were everywhere expressed, no, it wasnt easy. but al fatah did come after all, apres beaucoup of faith and struggles, and after many tests separating the real mujahids and munafiqs.

if we were born during those times, which path would we have chosen?

i remember there was a gift card once i saw in a shop it read: "families are but accidents, you're just born in it." it would have been such an honour to have been born during Rasulullah's time, living in the community of the salfusshaleh. learning the sunnah fresh and live, seeing the revelation itself, living with our most beloved.

...

but yeahhh nowadays we have edgy tech savvy stuffs, we have electricity, travel convenience, and education opportunities, al qur'an as sunnah are compiled and distributed, a much easier life by farrrrrrrr, who wouldnt wanna miss that.

then let us be thankful for our qada' and qadar, to be born in this generation, in our particular family, it is iA a gift in itself, with reason and al haq, by the careful planning of The One All mighty, perfect in every way, and never need to rest. Allah chose you family for you. its not, an accident.

after hard ship comes ease. after hardship comes ease.

but lets not allow our ease be the cause of our eternal hardship, on the day where many would so wish that they were turned to dust, were never born, never been given life.

Dalam Sirah ada Bekalan

2011-11-29T09:00:00.002+08:00

... and whose seerah has the most bekalan?

Amr Khaled's: On The Path of The Beloved

Futur

2011-11-21T16:05:00.001+08:00

Erti Futur
Futur adalah perkataan dari bahasa Arab asalnya ia bermakna terputus, berhenti, malas dan lambat, setelah sebelumnya konsisten dan rajin.

“Sesungguhnya bagi setiap amalan adalah masa-masa rajin dan tiap-tiap masa rajin ada futur. Namun barangsiapa yang futurnya menjurus kepada sunnahku, maka sesungguhnya ia telah memperoleh petunjuk. Barangsiapa pula yang futurnya menjurus kepada selain sunnahku, maka ia telah tersesat.” (Riwayat Al-Bazzar)

Moga kita tidak mati dalam keadaan Futur

Apabila seseorang itu berlama-lama dalam keadaan futur sehingga menjadi kebiasaannya, maka ia menanggung risiko besar untuk mati dalam keadaan sedemikian kerana dia tidak tahu akan masa kematiannya. Adalah ditakuti, jika Allah taala mengambil nyawanya sedangkan dia dalam keadaan futur, sedangkan Allah taala menghisab amal manusia berdasarkan akhir hayatnya. Maka sebab itulah, Rasulullah s.a.w mengajar umatnya agar sentiasa berdoa dengan doa;

“Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku memohon perlindungan kepadaMu dari kesusahan dan kesedihan, aku berlindung kepadaMu dari penyakit lemah dan malas...” (Riwayat Abu Daud)

Di dalam sebuah hadits, Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang bermaksud;

“Sesungguhnya seorang hamba itu ada yang melakukan amalan ahli neraka padahal ia termasuk ahli syurga, dan ada pula yang mengamalkan amalan ahli syurga padahal ia termasuk ahli neraka. Sesungguhnya amal itu tergantung pada kesudahannya.” (Riwayat Al-Bukhari)

al Hijr : 99

2011-11-06T20:23:00.006+08:00

وَاعْبُدْ رَبَّكَ حَتَّى يَأْتِيَكَ الْيَقِينُ

(And worship your Lord until the certainty comes to you.)

Talking about 'ibadah, in its strict fiqh definition but broad methods, with the importance of their consistencies, and not to mention the need for their constant improvements at every single opportunity.. its understandable that too many are more than willing to give up. its a pretty difficult path we have there. you do believe, but..its just too hard to commit. "God should understand, right?"

Regardless of how we justify our perceptions, decisions and act, like it or not, surrender to that "awful" truth that the law and explicit commands won't be changed :

"And worship your Lord until the certainty comes to you" al Hijr: 99
Al Bukhari explained that certainty in this context is "death".

So ber'ibadah lah till death comes to you. Berdzikir lah till you die. Berinfaqlah till you die. Bayar zakat lah till you die. Bersederhana lah till you die.Solat lah till you die. Tahajjud lah till you die. Berakhlak mulia lah till you die. Senyum lah till you die. Zuhud lah till you die. Mencari ilmu lah till you die. Bersilaturrahim lah till you die. Bersabarlah till you die. Tutuplah aurat till you die. Jagalah pergaulan till you die. Amar ma'ruflah till you die. Berda'wah lah till you die. Berjihadlah till you die.

insya Allah, we can do this.

Kemanisan 'Ibadah

2011-10-16T07:36:00.002+08:00

Tidak diragukan lagi bahwa ibadah menghadirkan rasa nikmat, kebahagiaan hati kelapangan dada, dan ketentraman jiwa. Rasa-rasa ini hadir ketika seorang hamba sedang melaksanakan ibadah kepada penciptanya. Dan rasa itu terus berlanjutan walaupun setelah selesai melaksanakannya.

Seorang 'abid (yang beribadah) merasakan manisnya iman dalam hatinya, kenikmatan bermunajat dalam dzikir mereka, ketenangan dan ketentraman jiwa ketika ruku' dan sujud. Semua ini adalah kenikmatan ibadah yang sebenarnya diharap oleh nafsun muthmainnah (jiwa yang tenang).

Hal ini sebagaimana yang diungkapkan oleh Rasulullah shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam dalam sabdanya:

وَجُعِلَتْ قُرَّةُ عَيْنِي فِي الصَّلَاةِ

“Dan dijadikan penyejuk mataku di dalam shalat.” (HR. An-Nasai, dihasankan Asy-Syaikh Muqbil dalam Ash-Shahihul Musnad, 1/82)

Beliau saw memberikan kenyataan seperti ini karena beliau mendapatkan kelezatan dan kebahagiaan hati ketika mengerjakan shalat. Panjangnya shalat malam beliau merupakan satu bukti kemanisan yang diperoleh tatkala bermunajat kepada Rabb-nya.

Menjelang wafat, Mu’adz bin Jabal radhiallahu 'anhu menangis. Namun ia bukan menangisi ajal yang akan menjemputnya. Berikut sebab tangisnya:

إِنَّمَا أَبْكِي عَلَى ظَمَأِ الْهَوَاجِرِ وَ قِيَامِ لَيْلِ الشِّتَاءِ وَ مُزَاحَمَةِ الْعُلَمَاءِ بِالرُّكَبِ عِنْدَ خَلْقِ الذِّكْرِ

“Aku menangis hanyalah karena aku tidak akan merasakan lagi rasa dahaga (orang yang berpuasa) ketika hari sangat panas, bangun malam untuk melaksanakan shalat di musim yang dingin, dan berdekatan dengan orang-orang yang berilmu saat bersimpuh di halaqah dzikir."

Kenikmatan yang dirasakan seorang hamba dalam ibadahnya tadi merupakan anugerah Allah terbesar baginya. Dia akan selalu rindu dengan ibadah dan senantiasa menunggu-nunggu kehadirannya. Sebelum waktu ibadah itu tiba, dia sudah bersiap diri menyambutnya.

Namun, tidak semua orang yang beribadah merasakan kenikmatan tersebut. Allah sebutkan tentang kondisi orang munafikin yang kosong dari kenikmatan dalam melaksanakan ibadah yang paling utama, yaitu shalat.

وَإِذَا قَامُوا إِلَى الصَّلَاةِ قَامُوا كُسَالَى يُرَاءُونَ النَّاسَ وَلَا يَذْكُرُونَ اللَّهَ إِلَّا قَلِيلًا

"Dan apabila mereka berdiri untuk shalat mereka berdiri dengan malas. Mereka bermaksud riya (dengan shalat) di hadapan manusia. Dan tidaklah mereka menyebut Allah kecuali sedikit sekali." (QS. An Nisa': 142)

Imam Ibnu Kathir rahimahullah berkata dalam menfasirkan ayat di atas, "inilah sifat orang munafikin terhadap amal ibadah yang paling mulia, utama, dan terbaik, yaitu shalat. Jika melaksanakannya, mereka berdiri dengan malas. Hal ini disebabkan karena tidak ada niat dalam dirinya, tidak mengimaninya, dan tidak memahami maknanya."

Sesungguhnya orang yang merasakan kenikmatan ibadah memiliki tanda-tanda zahir sebagaimana iman juga memiliki tanda tanda zahirnya. Allah berfirman,

سِيمَاهُمْ فِي وُجُوهِهِمْ مِنْ أَثَرِ السُّجُودِ

"Tanda-tanda mereka tampak pada muka mereka dari bekas sujud." (QS. Al Fath: 29)

Abu Darda', salah seorang sahabat Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam berkata: "Wahai Ahlul Madinah, kenapa aku tidak melihat kenikmatan iman pada diri kalian? Demi Dzat yang jiwaku berada di tangan-Nya, kalau seandainya seekor hewan merasakan kenikmatan iman pasti akan terlihat manisnya iman padanya." (Dalam az Zuhd libni al Mubarak dan Syu'ab al Iman milik Imam al Baihaqi: III/130)

Di antara tanda-tanda orang merasakan nikmatnya ibadah adalah bersegera melaksanakan ketaatan, memperpanjang bacaan shalat, merutinkan puasa, memperbanyak tilawah al Qur'an, merasa rugi jika tertinggal dari melaksanakan ketaatan, dan rindu bertemu dengan Allah untuk merasakan kenikmatan terbesar.

1. Bersegera Melaksanakan Ketaatan

Sikap seorang mukmin jika menghadapi macam ibadah apapun, dia akan bersegera melaksanakannya karena rindu dengan kedatangannya. Baik terhadap waktu shalat, kedatangan bulan ramadlan, haji, jihad atau ibadah lainnya.

Dia berusaha agar tidak didahului oleh orang lain dalam masalah ibadah. Sebagaimana dia tidak mau menjadi urutan pertama dalam urusan dunia dan terlambat dalam urusan akhirat. Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam bersabda,

لاَ تَكُنْ أَوَّلَ دَاخِلِ السُّوْقِ وَلاَ آخِرَ خَارِجٍ مِنْهَا

"Janganlah menjadi orang yang pertama kali masuk ke dalam pasar dan yag terakhir keluar darinya." (HR. at Thabrani dalam al Kabir dengan sanad shahih dan al Baihaqi dalam Syu'ab al Iman) karena pasar menjadi markaz syetan dan dikibarkan bendera mereka. Hal ini menunjukkan agar seorang mukmin tidak berlumba lumba mengejar urusan dunia, tapi mereka hanya berlumba lumba dalam urusan akhirat. Berlumba lah kamu dalam melaksanakan kebaikan.

Berllumba lumba menjadi juara dalam urusan akhirat tidaklah termasuk kategori perlumbaan yang tercela. Bahkan mengalah dalam hal ini tidak diperbolehkan. Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam bersabda:

التُّؤَدَةُ فِي كُلِّ شَيْءٍ خَيْرٌ إِلَّا فِي عَمَلِ الْآخِرَةِ

"Mengalah (mendahulukan yang lain) dalam segala sesuatu itu baik, kecuali dalam urusan akhirat." (HR. Abu Dawud dan dishahihkan oleh al Hakim dan disepakati oleh al Dzahabi dari Sa'id bin Abi Waqqash dalam Shifatus Shafwah (III/304).

'Adi bin Hatim, salah seorang shabat, sudah bersiap-siap melaksanakan shalat sebelum datang waktunya dan selalu rindu dengan kehadirannya. Dia menyatakan, "tidaklah datang waktu shalat kecuali aku sudah siap. Dan tidaklah datang waktu shalat kecuali aku sudah sangat rindu melaksanakannya."

Tokoh besar Tabi'in, Sa'id bin Musayyib mengatakan, "sejak tiga puluh tahun, tidaklah seorang mu'adzin mengumandangkan adzan kecuali aku sudah berada di masjid."

Beliau juga pernah mengatakan, "aku tidak pernah ketinggalan takbir pertama dalam shalat selama 50 tahun. Aku juga tak pernah melihat punggung para jamaah, karena aku selalu berada di shaf terdepan selama 50 tahun."

Muhammad bin Sama'ah at Tamimi rahimahullah menyatakan selama empat puluh tahun tidak pernah tertinggal takbiratul ihramnya imam, kecuali ketika ibunya meninggal.

Muhammad bin Sama'ah at Tamimi . . . selama empat puluh tahun tidak pernah tertinggal takbiratul ihramnya imam. . .

Al Imam al Qari', 'Ashim bin Abil Junud ketika melewati sebuah masjid pasti beliau mampir untuk melaksanakan shalat di sana. Hal ini karena beliau sangat rindu dengan shalat.

Yunus bin Ubaid sudah dalam keadaan siap sebelum perintah Allah datang kepadanya. Makanya dia sentiasa dalam keadaan suci supaya tidak tertinggal dari shalat sunnah atau shalat wajib ketika datang waktunya.

Juga perlu diketahui, syaitan berusaha keras agar seorang mukmin terlambat melaksanakan ibadah.

Dalam sebuah hadith shahih disebutkan, syaitan mengikatkan tiga ikatan pada tengkuk seseorang ketika sedang tidur. Pada setiap ikatan tadi syaitan mengatakan, "malam masih panjang teruslah tidur." Dan ketika orang tadi bangun lalu mengingat Allah, maka lepaslah satu ikatan darinya. Lalu jika dia berwudlu, lepas satu ikatan lagi. Dan jika ia shalat maka lepaslah seluruh ikatan syetan sehingga di pagi hari dia akan semangat. Dan jika tidak melakukan semua tadi, di paginya dia akan malas."(HR. Al Bukhari dan Muslim dari Abu Hurairah)

. . . syaitan berusaha keras agar seorang mukmin terlambat melaksanakan ibadah . . .

Kerananya jangan ditunda-tunda melaksanakan ibadah dan ketika tiba kesempatan beribadah.

2. Memperpanjang bacaan shalat

Orang yang merasakan nikmatnya ibadah tidak akan merasakan banyaknya waktu yang dihabiskannya, bahkan waktu yang panjang terasa sebentar.

Setahun dihabiskan untuk kesenangan terasa sebentar
Sehari yang berisi keburukan terasa setahun

Dari sini, Nabi shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam melaksanakan qiyamullail dengan membaca surat al Baqarah, Ali Imran, dan An Nisa' dalam satu rakaat. Tidak terasa waktu yang lama itu karena terisi nikmatnya munajat.

Begitu juga yang dijalankan oleh para sahabat beliau shallallahu 'alaihi wasallam dan para pengikut mereka. Diriwayatkan dari khalifah Utsman bin 'Affan, beliau mengkhatamkan Al Qur'an dalam satu rakaat. (Diriwayatkan Abu 'Ubaid dalam Fahlaa-il al Qur'an: hal. 90).

Beliau bisa begitu karena tidak merasa penat lamanya berdiri dalam shalat karena merasakan nikmatnya membaca Al Qur'an. Beliau sendiri pernah berkata:

لَوْ طَهُرَتْ قُلُوبُكُمْ مَا شَبِعْتُمْ مِنْ كَلاَمِ رَبِّكُمْ

"Jika hati kalian bersih, pasti tidak akan pernah kenyang untuk membaca al Qur'an." (HR. Ahmad dalam Zawaid al Zuhd: 155)

Tamim ad Daari, Sa'id bin Jubair, dan Imam Abu Hanifah rahimahumullah mengkhatamkan Al Qur'an dalam satu raka'at bersama beberapa orang, sebagaimana yang didokumentasikan oleh oleh Imam Nawawi rahimahullah, "boleh jadi ini pada malam musim dingin yang panjang, ditambah lagi berkahnya masa pada zaman itu." (At Tibyan fi Aadaab Hamalah Al Qur'an: 81)

"Jika hati kalian bersih, pasti tidak akan pernah kenyang untuk membaca al Qur'an."

Abu Ishaq al Sabi'ii rahimahullah ketika sudah tua tidak mampu berdiri shalat sehingga harus dibantu. Jika sudah berdiri shalat, beliau membaca seribu ayat. Beliau mengatakan, "aku sudah tua dan tulangku sudah lemah, sungguh hari ini, aku berdiri shalat dengan membaca surat Al Baqarah dan Ali Imran."

Subhanallah, di kala sudah tua dan lemah, beliau berdiri shalat dan tidak ruku' kecuali setelah membaca surat Al Baqarah dan Ali Imran. Untuk membaca kedua surat tadi, paling tidak dibutuhkan waktu satu seperempat jam.

Di bawah itu ada 'Atha bin Abi Rabbaah (w. 114 H.) pada saat sudah tua dan lemah, beliau melaksanakan shalat dan membaca dua ratusan ayat dari suarat Al Baqarah dengan berdiri, selama itu beliau tidak bergeser dan tidak bergerak. (Dikeluarkan oleh al Baihaqi dalam Syu'ab al Imaan: 6/783)

Khalid bin Daarik berkata, "kami memiliki seorang imam di Bashrah. Dia mengkhatamkan Al Qur'an empat hari sekali selama bulan Ramadlan. Dan kami menilainya sudah meringankan bacaan." Maksudnya dia membaca seperempat Al Qur'an setiap harinya, dan masih dianggap telah meringankannya. Tidak ada pentafsiran lain kecuali mereka itu jika sudah menghadap Rabb-nya Yang Maha Suci dan Maha tinggi, mereka lupa kepada selain-Nya.

Ada bentuk memanjangkan shalat yang lain, yaitu shalat Shubuh dengan wudlu isya'. Dan sudah banyak ulama Salafus Shalih yang mengerjakannya. Maknanya mereka tidak tidur semalaman, waktunya diisi dengan ibadah dan berkhalwah (menyendiri) dengan Allah 'Azza wa Jalla.

Di antara mereka adalah Sa'id bin Musayyib rahimahullah. Disebutkan bahwa beliau melakukan shalat Shubuh dengan wudlu Isya' selama lima puluh tahun. Ini adalah imam at tabi'in dan pemimpin mereka. Dalam amalnya tidak ada yang diingkari. Hal itu tidak hanya dikerjakan satu atau dua tahun.

Ulama salaf lainnya adalah Sulaiman al Taimi al Bashri rahimahullah yang shalat shubuh dengan wudlu' isya' selama 40 tahun.

Antara salafus Shalih ada yang bersungguh-sungguh ibadah sehingga kalau dikatakan kiamat terjadi besok hari, dia tidak bisa lagi menambah amal ibadahnya, karena sudah dikerjakan melebihi kemampuan. Antara mereka ada Abu Muslim al Khaulani rahimahullah, beliau berkata, "kalau dikatakan padaku, Jahannam sudah dinyalakan, maka aku tak bisa lagi menambah amalku."

Kenikmatan ibadah yang dirasakan sebagian ulama menjadikan mereka berdoa kepada Allah agar menganugerahkan shalat di kuburnya. Harapannya supaya boleh merasakan nikmatnya shalat di alam kubur sebagaimana yang dirasakannya di dunia.

Tsabit bin Aslam al Bannaani al Bashri rahimahullah berkata, "tidak ada sesuatu yang kurasakan dalam hatiku lebih nikmat daripada qiyamullail." Dan beliaupun berdo'a "Ya Allah, jika Engkau masih memberikan kesempatan untuk shalat dalam kuburnya, maka berikan aku kesempatan shalat dalam kuburku." (Dikeluarkan oleh al Baihaqi dalam Syu'ab al Imaan: 6/402)

Mereka menghidupkan malamnya dengan ketaatan kepada Rabb-nya

Dengan tilawah, tadharru', dan berdoa

Air mata mereka mengalir dengan deras

Seperti mengalirnya lembah karena hujan

Di waktu malam laksana rahib, dan ketika berjihad

menghadapi musuhnya, mereka panglima paling berani

Di wajahnya terdapat bekas sujud pada tuhan-nya

Dengannya kilauan pancaran cahaya-nya

Imam al Syatibi rahimahullah berkata, "yang disebutkan tentang orang shalih terdahulu berupa amal-amal mereka yang berat yang tidak bisa dikerjakan kecuali oleh individu individu yang telah Allah persiapkan untuk melaksanakannya dan menyiapkannya untuk mereka. Allah telah menjadikan mereka suka kepada amal-amal itu. Hal itu tidaklah menyimpang dari sunnah, bahkan mereka tergolong dalam kelompok as Sabiqiin (bersegera melaksanakan ketaatan), semoga Allah menjadikan kita dalam barisan mereka. Hal itu disebabkan alasan yang menjadikan dilarangnya beramal yang berat telah hilang dari diri mereka. Maka larangan itu tidak berlaku atas mereka." (Al Muwafaqaat: 2/140)

Sesungguhnya kenikmatan ibadah bukan ada pada zaman dahulu saja. Alhamdulillah, zaman kita sekarang juga masih ada. Syaikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Bazz rahimahullah selalu menjaga qiyamullail dalam kondisi muqim atau safar. Dikisahkan oleh salah seorang sahabat beliau, dalam sebuah perjalan darat dari Riyadl ke Makkah. Di pertengahan malam, pukul 24.00 waktu setempat, Syaikh berkata: "Bagaimana kalau kita tidur dulu di sini kemudian kita lanjutkan perjalanan esok pagi?" Orang-orang yang dalam rombongan beliau setuju. Lalu mereka tidur, sedangkan Syaikh minta air untuk wudlu kemudian shalat sebanyak yang beliau mau, setelah itu beliau tidur. Ketika bangun shalat Shubuh, mereka dapati Syaikh telah lebih dulu bangun dan sudah shalat. (Sekilas biografi Syaikh Abdul 'Aziz bin Bazz oleh Andurrahman al Rahmah : 236-237)

Suatu kali beliau diundang ke Jeddah -waktu itu beliau berada di Makkah-, beliau menerima undangan itu. Beliau kembali ke rumahnya di Makkah pada pukul 02.00 malam. Orang-orang dalam rombongan beliau tidur. Ketika sudah masuk waktu untuk shalat tahajjud, sekitar pukul 03.00, beliau membangunkan mereka untuk shalat. Kamudian beliau shalat hingga masuk shubuh. Setelah shalat, beliau menyampaikan ceramah sebentar lalu melakukan mu'amalah.

Itulah beliau, di tengah-tengah agenda harian beliau yang padat, tidak pernah meninggalkan qiyamullail.

Wahai saudaraku, karena Allah, contoh-contoh yang disebutkan di depan terasa jauh dari angan-angan kita. Jika kita mahu, pasti boleh Insya Allah. Caranya, laksanakan secara bertahap, sedikti-demi sedikit. Mulailah shalat malam dengan beberapa surat pendek. Setelah berjalan beberapa hari, mulailah membaca surat-surat panjang. Lama-kelamaan, kita akan terbiasa melaksanakan shalat dengan lama. Jangan seperti orang yang langsung shalat dengan bacaan panjang lalu berhenti, tidak melaksanakannya lagi. Sesungguhnya amal yang paling disukai Allah adalah yang istiqamah walaupun sedikit.

Sesungguhnya 'amal yang paling disukai Allah adalah yang istiqamah walaupun sedikit.

Man Jadda wa Jadda, Barangsiapa yang bersungguh sungguh pasti akan Mendapatnya

Source : Voice of al Islam

Ibadah and Thaqhut

2011-10-16T06:51:00.003+08:00

Shaikh Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaah) said,
"Ibadah is a collective term for everything that Allaah loves and is pleased with from amongst sayings and inward and outward actions."

He also said,
"Ibadah is obedience to Allaah by carrying out what He has commanded through tongues of His Messengers."

The Meaning of Ibadah

Author: Shaykh 'Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn Hasan (d.1258H)

Source: Fathul-Majeed li-Sharh Kitaabit-Tawheed (1/84-90)

Published: Monday 31st October, 2005

The Meaning of Ibadah (Worship)

The statement of Allaah - the Most High:

"I did not create the Jinn, nor mankind, except to worship Me." [az-Dhaariyaat 51:56]

Shaykhul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (d.728H) - rahimahullaah - said:

"Worship (al-'Ibaadah) is obedience to Allah by following that which He ordered upon the tongues of His Messengers." He also said, "Worship (al-'Ibaadah) is a comprehensive term covering everything that Allaah loves and is pleased with - whether saying, or actions, outward and inward." [Majmoo'ul-Fataawaa (10/149) of Ibn Taymiyyah]

Ibnul-Qayyim (d.751H) - rahimahullaah - said:

"Worship revolves around fifteen principles. Whosoever completes them has completed the stages of 'uboodiyyah (servitude to Allaah). The explanation of this is that 'ibaadah is divided between the heart, the tongue, and the limbs. And that for each one of these three come five types of rulings, covering all actions: waajib (obligatory), mustahabb (recommended), haraam (prohibited), makrooh (disliked), and mubaah (permissible)." [Madaarijus-Saalikeen (1/109)]

Imaam al-Qurtubee (d.671H) - rahimahullaah - said:

"The root of 'ibaadah is humility and submissiveness. The various duties that have been prescribed upon the people are called 'ibaadaat (acts of worship), since what is required is that these acts of worship must be done with humility and submissiveness to Allaah - the Most High." [Al-Jaami' li-Ahkaamil-Qur'aan (1/225), and (17/56) of al-Qurtubee]

Ibn Katheer (d.774H) - rahimahullaah - said:

"And 'ibaadah is obedience to Allaah by acting upon what He commands, and abandoning what He forbids; and this is the reality and essence of Islaam. And the meaning of Islaam is: istislaam (submission and surrender) to Allaah - the Most High - along with the utmost compliance, humility, and submissiveness to Him."

He also said whilst explaining the above aayah:

"Indeed Allaah - the Most High - created the creation so that they could worship Him alone, without associating any partner with Him. Whoever obeys Him will be completely rewarded, whereas whoever disobeys Him would be punished with a severe punishment. And He has informed that He is neither dependant, nor does He have any need for them. Rather, it is they who are in dire need of Him, in every condition and circumstance, since He is the One who created, sustains, and provides for them." [Tafseerul-Qur'aanil-'Adtheem (7/402)]

The Meaning of Taaghoot

The statement of Allaah - the Most High:

"And to every nation We sent Messengers, ordering them that they should worship Allaah alone, obey Him, and make their worship purely for Him; and that they should avoid at-Taaghoot." [Sooratun-Nahl 16:36]

And at-taaghoot is from the word at-tughyaan, which means: going beyond the limits.

'Umar Ibnul-Khattaab (radi-Allaahu 'anhu) said:

"The taaghoot is Shaytaan." [Related by at-Tabaree in Jaami'ul-Bayaan 'an-Ta'weelil-Qur'aan (no. 5834), al-Haafidh Ibn Hajr said in Fathul-Baaree (8/251), "Its chain of narrators is strong."]

Jaabir (radi-Allaahu 'anhu) said:

"The taaghoots are the soothsayers and fortune-tellers upon whom the devils descend." [Related by at-Tabaree in his Tafseer (no. 5845)]

Imaam Maalik (d.179H) - rahimahullaah - said:

"Taaghoot is that which is worshipped besides Allaah." [Related by as-Suyootee in ad-Durarul-Manthoor (2/22), by way of Ibn Abee Haatim]

So this is what has been mentioned by certain people.

However, Imaam Ibnul-Qayyim - rahimahullaahu ta'aalaa - has given a very comprehensive definition, so he said,

"The taaghoot is all that which causes the person to exceed the limits with regards to that which is worshipped, followed, or obeyed. So the taaghoot in any nation is whosoever turns to other than Allaah and His Messenger for matters of judgement; or is pleased to be worshipped besides Allaah; or is followed without a clear proof from Allaah; or is obeyed in that which is known to be disobedience to Allaah." [I'laamul-Muwaqqi'een (1/53)]

Wallahu a'lam

source: www.muttaqun.com

Woe to every Lumazah

2011-09-14T04:23:00.001+08:00

‎"Woe to every slanderer and backbiter." [The Qur'an 104:1]

‎"The one to whom GOSSIP comes, saying So & so said this about you, or did that to you, should do six things:

1- He should not believe it, because the one who gossips is an evildoer.

2- He should tell him not to do that, & advise him, & condemn his action.

3- He should hate him for the sake of Allah, for he is hateful before Allah, may He be exalted, & he should hate the one whom Allah hates.

4- He should not think ill of his absent brother."

"5- He should not let what he is told lead him to spy on others or try to find out about it.

6- He should not approve for himself what he told the gossipmonger not to do, so he should not transmit the gossip & say “So and so said such and such”, in which case he would also be a gossipmonger & would be doing that which he told someone else not to do. End quote.

[al-Nawawi said, quoting from Abu Haamid al-Ghazaali (may Allah have mercy on them both), Al-Adhkaar (275)]
‎
"What should be avoided and shunned totally is gossip which means transmitting words from one person to another, or from one group to another, or from one tribe to another, with the aim of causing trouble and creating problems between them. It means disclosing that which should not be disclosed, whether it is disliked by the one from whom it is transmitted or the one to whom it is transmitted or a third party, and whether it is disclosed verbally, in writing, in symbols or by gestures, and whether what is transmitted is words or actions, and whether it refers to a fault or shortcoming in the person from whom it is transmitted or not. A person should keep quiet about whatever he sees of people’s situations, unless speaking of it will bring some benefit to a Muslim or ward off some harm."
[Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him)]

Ramadhan half way gooooneeeeee....=(

2011-08-17T12:06:00.000+08:00

Ibn 'Uyayna said that Mutarrif b. 'Abdallah would repeat the following prayer, "O Allah! I seek Your forgiveness for that which I sought your repentance but to which I subsequently returned; I seek Your forgiveness from that which I rendered to You from my self, but then, I was not able to maintain faithfully; and, I seek Your forgiveness from that by which I claimed I desired your Face but my heart became corrupted with that which I did."

Ramadhan, la'allakum tattaquun

2011-07-31T08:00:00.004+08:00

Upon entering the month of Ramadhan, we can all appreciate the value of time and how quickly the months pass us by. It hardly feels as though nearly a year has passed since last Ramadan. This transient nature of time is evident in the Quran when Allah swears by his creation. He only swears by things that require contemplation which is why He swears by Time in Surah al Asr.

During Rajab, and Sha’baan, the two months directly before the month of Ramadan, our beloved Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) would ask Allah to allow him to live until Ramadan because of the great potential for reward during this blessed month. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) never requested to live longer except in these two months. He (pbuh) used to say:

“Oh Allah, bless us in the months of Rajab and Sha’baan and let us live till Ramadan.”
Related by Ahmed and Tabarani

Fasting (sawm) is one of the 5 Pillars of Islam, but what is the reason for fasting? What is the purpose of Ramadan? Why do we go without food and water all day? Why do we read the Quran more than any other time of the year? Why do we pray at night during this blessed month?

In attempt to answer these questions we often try to explain the many benefits in different ways. Benefits such as learning to appreciate food and drink, learning self discipline, strengthening our family ties, gaining knowledge of Allah’s words through the Quran, understanding what it is like for those who are suffering from hunger and encouraging us to give charity are among the many benefits that we can derive from the month of Ramadan.

The above mentioned are only some of the many benefits of Ramadan, however Allah explicitly states why He has prescribed the month of Ramadan to us in the second chapter of the Quran:

“O Believers! Fasting has been prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, that you main attain “Taqwa” (2:183)

It is ultimately from Allah’s words that we understand Ramadan has been prescribed in order for us to achieve Taqwa. What is Taqwa?

Taqwa is a common word that is used amongst Muslims. We often tell people to: “Have Taqwa of Allah.” We also ask Allah to help us achieve Taqwa. The first verse in Soorah al Baqara after the opening of the Quran states:

“this is the book in which there is no doubt, guidance to those who have Taqwa.”(2:2).

Thus the first command in the Quran is to Worship Allah in order to attain Taqwa.

Upon looking up the translation of “Taqwa” we find the definition includes words such ‘Piety’ or ‘God Consciousness’. We may also read the translation as “to ward off evil”, to be “mindful of Allah” or “fear of Allah”. However fear is different to Taqwa; in Classical Arabic, fear is “KHAWF” which is known as a very primitive reason to encourage obedience. For example, to fear someone or something often suggests that one will obey in order to prevent some form of affliction. This concept of fear goes against the religion of Islam which is based upon peace and mercy. Our worship of Allah should not be out of fear, rather it should be out of love. Similar to that of a child in a loving family where the child does not fear punishment from their parents, but want to make their parents happy and do not want to upset them by being disobedient.

In Arabic, every word is based on a root word which consists of two, three or sometimes four letters. Looking in to the root of the word opens up many meanings to rhetoric of the Quran and there have been many great scholars who have contributed immensely to Arabic grammar and rhetoric of the Quran. People such as Imam Ibn Manzur who wrote the famous “lisaan al-arab” ("The Arab Tongue"), Imam Al-Zamakhshari who wrote “asaas albalagha” (“foundations of rhetoric”), Imam Abd

al-Qahir al-Jurjani who wrote “Asrar alBalaghah” (“The Secrets of rhetoric”) and many others. One thing to note about each of these scholars is that none of them were Arabs and most of the scholars of the Arabic language were non-Arabs. This goes to show that we do not have to be of Arab origin in order to understand the in depth meanings of the Quran.

The root word for “Taqwa” is وقى which means Protect, shelter or guard. The letter ت (T) Which is the first letter in the word Taqwa is described by Imam Ibn Manzur as “an increasing letter” which means that when a verb starts with a ت T, this means that it is telling us to exert effort and strive to fulfil. So what does striving to attain protection have to do with Ramadan and being obedient to Allah? It would be difficult for anyone to explain in a few words as Allah’s words have no limit to what can be understood from them; scholars have written much on this one word.

Taqwa in the Islamic Tradition means to protect ourselves from displeasing Allah by doing good actions. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) advised, “Protect yourselves from Allah (Taqwa) even with a piece of a date”. Meaning give even a piece of a date in charity in order to seek Allah’s pleasure and avoid his anger.

Allah tells us in the Quran,

“Oh Believers, Protect yourselves (Taqwa) and your families from the fire" (66:6)

Imam Razi commented on this verse in his explanation of the Quran explaining that the act of protecting one’s self here is attained by “Leaving the unlawful and carrying out good deeds.”

So Allah tells us to save ourselves when we usually ask Alllah: “Oh Allah Save Us!” One may ask “how do we save ourselves?” We save ourselves by carrying out what Allah has ordered us to do and avoiding what he has prohibited for us. Allah cannot save us if we do not take heed of the message He has sent us. Allah has given each of us the means for our salvation and it is our choice to follow the message, and fulfil our obligations, or to ignore the message and follow our own desires.

For the shar’i meaning of التَّقْوَى , the following definitions have been forwarded:

(a) اتِّقَاء الْمَعَاصِيْ (ittiqaa’ al-ma’asi = warding off, avoiding sins, disobedience); this meaning seems to be very apt for the kind of Taqwa that we envisage to gain during the course of Ramadhan, since during Ramadhan we refrain from things that are normally halaal (lawful) so as to make it doubly easy for us to refrain from things that are haraam (unlawful). Ibn ‘Ashur gives an interesting reason as to how sawm teaches and trains us to ward off and refrain from sinful acts.

He says that sinful acts are of two types:

(i) sinful acts which require us to sufficiently reflect on its detriments in order to abandon them, such as drinking wine, gambling, stealing, usurping other people’s property, etc., and

(ii) sinful acts that stem from anger and natural desire which might be difficult to just

abandon through mere reflection on its negative aspects, and for this reason sawm has been

legislated to help us overcome and refrain from these sinful acts.

Thus the act of sawm accomplishes or effects through regulating and controlling one’s lower desires through elevating and raising the individual from being immersed and steeped in base materialism to the lofty heights of the spiritual world. Sawm, then, is a means through which ones engages in the sublime activities of a sinless spiritual world to gain control over the sinful and base desires of an animalistic world. Sawm, then, becomes as the hadith says: a shield that safeguards and protects one from not only falling into sin and disobedience but also from falling into the depthless Fire of the Jahannam in the Hereafter. Moreover, it also serves as a shield that protects us from illnesses and sicknesses that befall people who indulge in lust and desire without the slightest restraint.

(b) Ali ibn Abi Talib’s definition: هي الخوف من الجليل، والعمل بالتنزيل، والقناعة بالقليل، والاستعداد ليوم الرحيل

Taqwa is Fearing Allah, the Majestic, acting according to Revelation, being contented with little, and making preparation for the Day of the Journey

(c) another common definition is: Taqwa is when a servant places between him and what he fears a barrier that will protect him from it

(d) Ibn Abbas says that the Muttaqun (people of Taqwa) are those who fear Allah and His Punishment

(e) Abdullahi ibn Mas’ud says concerning the meaning of Qur’anic statement: اتَّقُواْ اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ (Fear Allah as He should be feared):

أن يُطاع فلا يُعصى، ويذكر فلا ينسى، وأن يشكر فلا يكفر

(that Allah must be obeyed and not be disobeyed, that He must be remembered and not be forgotten, that He be shown gratitude and not ingratitude)

These then are some of the definitions of Taqwa, and by studying them closely one realises that Taqwa is one of those terms whose meaning whose meaning is so all-encompassing so as almost to leave nothing out. It seems to me that this all-encompassing property and trait of Taqwa stems from the fact that it creates the person who possesses Taqwa a certain type of consciousness and awareness of Allah such that it permeates his whole being and radiates his whole life and existence, with the result that everything he does is done with that consciousness and awareness of Allah. Being in that frame of mind certainly brings out the best in you, and causes you to engage only in good and refrain from evil.

The Scholars have simplified the meaning of taqwa in a very short statement which really helps in our understanding of Taqwa as being:

“ For Allah to find you where you should be, and not find you where you shouldn’t be”

Allah ordered us to pray. When the prayer times come, He should find us praying. He ordered us to pay charity, when we earn, He should find us giving in charity. He ordered us not to backbite, he

shouldn’t find us backbiting. He ordered us not to part from the unity of the community, therefore he should find us united.

Allah mentions a verse in the Quran that we usually hear in the opening of Friday Prayers. And that is:

“Oh Believers, Observe your duty to Allah (Taqwa) with right observance” (3:102)

One may say it is difficult to observe everything Allah orders us to do and stay away from everything he has ordered us not to? How do we know if we have achieved Taqwa? We can find out by weighing out our actions at the end of the day. None of us will ever be able to achieve 100% Taqwa but if we were to evaluate ourselves at the end of each day, for example question things such as did I pray today? did I hold back from any wrong that I was tempted to do? How would I weigh up my day overall?

When the companions of the Prophet (pbuh) heard this verse they became worried as they knew that it was impossible to achieve complete Taqwa, so soon after the following verse was revealed:

“So have Taqwa of Allah as best you can” (64:16)

This demonstrates the mercy and compassion that Allah has for his servants. As sons of Adam & Eve, we were not created to be perfect without making any mistakes. It is part of our nature to make mistakes, but it is also a part of our nature to acknowledge our mistakes and turn back to Allah in repentance which will help us live a happier life free of confusion and sorrow. In doing so we are fulfilling the concept of Taqwa which leads to many benefits. Allah tells us how it is within our souls to strive for Taqwa in the following verses:

"And by the Soul and He Who perfected it.
Then He inspired it to understand Immorality and Taqwa" ( 91:7-8)

The Quran prescribes fasting for believers in these words,

"O you who believe, the fasts have been enjoined upon you as they were enjoined upon those before you, so that you may have taqwa" (2:183).

Hence, the intent and effect of fasting as described in the ayah is to acquire taqwa. Presence of taqwa helps protect from committing sins and overcome the passions of flesh. There is no equivalent English word for taqwa. In Islamic terminology, taqwa refers to a state of consciousness where one constantly feels the presence of his Creator, obeys His commands to attain His pleasure, and avoids disobedience to Him, not only out of His fear but also for the love of Him.

Sayyidna Ubay Ibn Ka'b gave a comprehensive explanation of taqwa in response to a query from Hadrat Umar Farooq radi Allahu anhuma. Hadhrat Ka'b questioned, "O Amirul Momineen, have you ever walked on a path full of thorns?" Hadhrat Umar replied, "Yes". Hadrat Ka'b then enquired, "What did you do?" In reply, Hadhrat Umar stated, "I gathered my clothing and lifted it up to my shin, thereafter I watched my steps and took each step carefully from the fear of thorns lest they prick me". Hadrat Ka'b said, "This is taqwa".

In Hadrat Ka'b elucidation of taqwa, the world is a like a passage full of thorns (sins), a believer treads through it very carefully saving himself from the harm of sinful actions and attractions by adhering to the do's and don'ts of Islam.

Taqwa is a measure of a person's real worth. A slave with a higher level of taqwa is better than the master, and a pauper with greater conscious of Allah is more respectable than a prince. Allah judges a person's honor and esteem according to the level of his taqwa. In a hadith, Prophet Sallallahu 'alaihi wassalam tells us that some people, who are poor, weak, and have no position in society, if they take oath by Allah, Allah will fulfill it because of their purity and strength of piety (taqwa). In the sight of Allah, the honorable are not the ones with wealth and position, but with taqwa. The most honorable is the one with the most taqwa.

A belief in Allah, His Prophets, and His Books will save a person from eternal condemnation, but mere belief minus taqwa will not be enough to save him from the punishment in the hereafter, except the one on whom Allah has mercy. A conscientious Muslim strives to develop taqwa in his life for he knows, "Allah will deliver those who had taqwa to their place of salvation: no evil shall touch them, nor shall they grieve" (39:61), and, that Allah has prepared jannah for the muttaqeen, people of taqwa. (3:133)

Human beings are weak and susceptible to fall into errors and sin; it takes a little distraction and heedlessness to slip from virtue to vice and from piety to perversity. To protect men and women straying from the path of righteousness and falling into transgression, Islam has chalked out spiritual programs on a daily and yearly basis for its adherents, if followed sincerely and faithfully it will greatly minimize the chance of straying from the right course.
so that you may have taqwa

Among the various program intended to awaken the spiritual life of a believer, Ramadan, the month of fasting, contains the most intense training to instill taqwa in the hearts of believers.

The paramount significance of Ramadan can be seen from the love and yearning the Holy Prophet showed for the month. He used to start preparing for Ramadan two months in advance in Rajab with the supplication, "O Allah, make the months of Rajab and Sha'ban blessed for us, and let us reach the month of Ramadan (allow us to live till coming Ramadan so that we may benefit from its blessings)."
so that you may have taqwa

Ramadan is a month of fasting from dawn to sunset. It is a month of special nightly prayers (tarawih). In one of its nights, good deeds performed are better than a thousand months of virtuous deeds.

so that you may have taqwa

Itikaf, secluding into Masjid, away from worldly distractions, in the last ten days of Ramadan with the intention of seeking closeness to Allah, gives a tremendous boost to a believer's spiritual life.

so that you may have taqwa

Umrah in the month of Ramadan is as one has performed hajj in the company of the Holy Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. A voluntary good deed in Ramadan merits the same reward as an obligatory act in any other month, and an obligatory deed is rewarded seventy times over.

so that you may have taqwa

Of all the pious exercises connected with Ramadan, fasting is the main feature and the only obligatory act of the holy month. The remaining activities are supererogatory but of immense importance and value in breathing new life into spiritual body that may have become dormant during the year.

As heart is the spiritual center of the human soul, the belly is the center of sensual appetite. When the belly is pampered, the fleshly desires are stimulated, which in turn may lead to sin and arrogance and disinvest one of taqwa. On the other hand, controlling one's appetite and eating just enough to satisfy hunger keeps a person away from lust and evil thoughts and the weakness of soul that comes with the over indulgence of food. A belly filled to brim tends to be rebellious, while a bit empty stomach remains calm and conforming.

Hence the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam advised moderation in consuming food and drink, he said,

"A human being does not fill any vessel worse than his stomach. Enough for the son of Adam are a few morsels to keep his back straight. If it cannot be avoided, then a third is for food, a third for drink, and a third for breath."

He also said,

"We are a people who do not eat until we are hungry and when we do eat, do not eat our fill."

As it is said that the "lusts of stomach leads to the lusts of the flesh"; satiety in food is sexual stimuli and sexual stimuli triggers sexual arousal. To an unmarried person gluttony may lead him to satisfy his desires in sinful ways. To reign in sexual temptations, fasting is recommended. Prophet Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam said, "O young men! Whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting one's chastity. Whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for it will reduce his sexual desire".

Fasting in the ordinary sense of the word simply means depriving the flesh from the pleasure of food and drink. The Ramadan fast also means the same, however, the physical abstinence from food and drink in Ramadan, with the intent to obey and worship Allah, takes a higher and nobler dimension, it becomes the nourishment of the soul.

so that you may have taqwa

A fasting person's soul experiences an exhilarating sense of taqwa when on a long hot summer Ramadan day his throat is dry, stomach is growling, no one is watching him, and yet he abstains from taking a few sips of water or a few morsels of food. What makes him curb his desires in seclusion, away from the eyes of people? It is the consciousness of presence of Allah that causes him to control his hankering for sustenance and submit to Allah's Will and Command. The voluntary denial of food and water to body nourishes the soul to be strong and virtuous and become a shield against the evil thoughts and acts, and a mean to protect from the hellfire. This is what the Holy Prophet meant when he eloquently said, "Fasting is a shield."

so that you may have taqwa

However, a mere voluntarily abstaining from food and drink is not enough for the fast to be accepted or effective in purifying soul and inculcating taqwa. With giving up food and drink, it is imperative that the fasting person must also faithfully heed all prohibitions and perform all duties prescribed by Allah and His Holy Prophet. The Holy Prophet Sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam made this point abundantly clear in more than one of his sayings. At one occasion he said,

"Whoever does not give up vain speech and evil actions, Allah is not in need of his fasting", i.e. Allah will not accept his fasting.

In an another hadith, the Holy Prophet warned,

"How many persons fast and get nothing out of their fasting except hunger and thirst and how many persons pray at night and get nothing out of it except sleeplessness."

These and other hadith tell a fasting person that the fast from food and drink must accompany the fast of tongue for his fast to be valid and beneficial.

so that you may have taqwa

Fast of tongue means one should completely protect his speech from vain talk and foul language including lying and slandering. Also, fasting without the five daily obligatory prayers is of little avail; it becomes devoid of spiritual benefits.

so that you may have taqwa

The fasting in the blessed month of Ramadan is of vital importance among the scheme of things that Islam has planned for a believer to secure the motivation and acquire taqwa. If done properly, fast will take a believer forward to the next eleven months to live in Allah's Will.

Ramadan is aptly called a taqwa training month.

Taken from : articles posted in Lisanul Arab, Khutbah Bank and Islam City. Jzkkk.

tornadoesssss

2011-04-18T20:24:00.009+08:00

call me weird, but experiencing twisters have always been one of my dreams since several times reading the wizard of oz. if not dream then, err, call it.. erm, interest? and to survive to tell the tale of course, however unlikely that may be. Leena if you're reading this, you're welcome to join me L!=P

the US tornado in the last few days brought another natural reminders for us. alhamdulillah the world is full of reminders. alhamdulillah we're still alive. another chance to edit our accounts and protect ourselves from the final judgement.

to see the strong wind being formed, fast. the dust folded. the gravity sucking things into its empty hollow middle, then thrashing them far back onto the earth, out of its way. the strength.leaving crops wasted and plants uprooted. amazing nature's work of art, bi iznillah.

imagine if all that you've worked for, all these years, destroyed in a split of a second. would u be crying just like those who did? sometimes we cry when we did bad during the exams. sometimes we cry when our house's broken in to, with furniture and electronics gone. sometimes we cry when a beloved dies. gone are the things we've worked hard for, invested much energy, time and wealth in.

its beautiful how the al qur'an uses the destroying wind to illustrate the parables of life.

10:24-25; Verily, the parable of the life of the world is as the water which We send down from the sky; so by it arises the intermingled produce of the earth of which men and cattle eat: until when the earth is clad in its adornments and is beautified, and its people think that they have all the powers of disposal over it, Our command reaches it by night or by day and We make it like a clean-mown harvest, as if it had not flourished yesterday! Thus do We explain the Ayat in detail for the people who reflect.Allah calls to the Abode of Peace (Paradise) and guides whom He wills to the straight path.

18: 45-46;

And mention the parable of the worldly life: it is like the water which We send down from the sky, and the vegetation of the earth mingles with it, and becomes fresh and green. But (later) it becomes dry and broken pieces, which the winds scatter. And Allah is able to do everything.

let not our deeds, have the same fate as the worldly life.

janganlah amalan baik kita dihapuskan oleh dosa.
janganlah kita ingat ia x apa, rupa rupanya tidak.
Ya zaljalaaliwal ikram, amitnaa 'ala deenil islam.

Alhamdulillah For Everything

2011-04-16T12:29:00.001+08:00

These two photos caught my eye just now, from the Alhamdulillah For Everything page on facebook.

Feel like sharing.

The Major Sins
--Al-Kaba'r--

The major sins are those acts which have been forbidden by Allah in the Quran and by His Messenger (SAW) in the Sunnah (practise of the Prophet), and which have been made clear by the actions of of the first righteous generation of Muslims, the Companions of the Prophet (SAW).

Allah Most High says in His Glorious Book:

If you avoid the major (part) of what you have been forbidden (to do), We will cancel out for you your (other) evil deeds and will admit you (to Paradise) with a noble entry. (al-Nisa 4:31)

Thus by this verse, Allah Most High has guaranteed the Garden of Paradise to those who avoid the major sins. And Allah Most High also says:

Those who avoid the greatest of sins and indecencies, and forgive when they are angry (al-Shra 42:37) Those who avoid the greatest sins and indecencies, except for oversights, (will find that) surely your Lord is ample in forgiveness. (Al-Najm 53:32)

The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: "The five [daily] prayers, Friday to Friday, and Ramadan to Ramadan make atonement for what has happenned since the previous one when major sins have been avoided." It is therefore very important to determine exactly what the greatest vices, technically called "the major sins" (Kaba'ir), are, in order that Muslims should avoid them.

There is some difference of opinion among scholars in this regard. Some say these major sins are seven, and in support of their position they quote the tradition: "Avoid the seven noxious things"- and after having said this, the propeht (SAW) mentioned them: "associating anything with Allah; magic; killing one whom Allah has declared inviolate without a just case, consuming the property of an orphan, devouring usury, turning back when the army advances, and slandering chaste women who are believers but indiscreet." (Bukhari and Muslim)

'Abdullah ibn 'Abbas said: "Seventy is closer to their number than seven," and indeed that is correct. The above tradition does not limit the major sins to those mentioned in it. Rather, it points to the type of sins which fall into the category of "major." These include those crimes which call for a prescribed punishment (HADD; plural, HUDUD), such as theft, fornication or adultery (ZINA), and murder; those prohibited acts for which a warning of a severe punishment in the Next is given in the Qur'an or the tradition; and also those deeds which are cursed by our Prophet (SAW). These are all major sins.

Of course, there is a gradation among them, since some are more serious than others. We see that the Prophet (SAW) has included SHIRK (associating someone or something with Allah) among them, and from the text of the Qur'an we know that a person who commits SHIRK will not his sin be forgiven and will remain in Hell forever.

Allah Most High says: Surely, Allah does not forgive associating anything with Him, and He forgives whatever is other than that to whomever He wills. (al-Nisa 4:48 and 116)

01. Associating anything with Allah
02. Murder
03. Practising magic
04. Not Praying
05. Not paying Zakat
06. Not fasting on a Day of Ramadan without excuse
07. Not performing Hajj, while being able to do so
08. Disrespect to parents
09. Abandoning relatives
10. Fornication and Adultery
11. Homosexuality(sodomy)
12. Interest(Riba)
13. Wrongfully consuming the property of an orphan
14. Lying about Allah and His Messenger
15. Running away from the battlefield
16. A leader's deceiving his people and being unjust to them
17. Pride and arrogance
18. Bearing false witness
19. Drinking Khamr (wine)
20. Gambling
21. Slandering chaste women
22. Stealing from the spoils of war
23. Stealing
24. Highway Robbery
25. Taking false oath
26. Oppression
27. Illegal gain
28. Consuming wealth acquired unlawfully
29. Committing suicide
30. Frequent lying
31. Judging unjustly
32. Giving and Accepting bribes
33. Woman's imitating man and man's imitating woman
34. Being cuckold
35. Marrying a divorced woman in order to make her lawful for the husband
36. Not protecting oneself from urine
37. Showing-off
38. Learning knowledge of the religion for the sake of this world and concealing that knowledge
39. Bertrayal of trust
40. Recounting favours
41. Denying Allah's Decree
42. Listening (to) people's private conversations
43. Carrying tales
44. Cursing
45. Breaking contracts
46. Believing in fortune-tellers and astrologers
47. A woman's bad conduct towards her husband
48. Making statues and pictures
49. Lamenting, wailing, tearing the clothing, and doing other things of this sort when an affliction befalls
50. Treating others unjustly
51. Overbearing conduct toward the wife, the servant, the weak, and animals
52. Offending one's neighbour
53. Offending and abusing Muslims
54. Offending people and having an arrogant attitude toward them
55. Trailing one's garment in pride
56. Men's wearing silk and gold
57. A slave's running away from his master
58. Slaughtering an animal which has been dedicated to anyone other than Allah
59. To knowingly ascribe one's paternity to a father other than one's own
60. Arguing and disputing violently
61. Witholding excess water
62. Giving short weight or measure
63. Feeling secure from Allah's Plan
64. Offending Allah's righteous friends
65. Not praying in congregation but praying alone without an excuse
66. Persistently missing Friday Prayers without any excuse
67. Unsurping the rights of the heir through bequests
68. Deceiving and plotting evil
69. Spying for the enemy of the Muslims
70. Cursing or insulting any of the Companiions of Allah's Messenger

Excellence of giving up Elegant Clothes for Humility

1. Mu`adh bin Anas (May ALLAH be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of ALLAH (PBUH) said, "Whoever gives up wearing elegant and expensive garments out of humbleness, when he can do so, ALLAH will call him on the Day of Resurrection and before all the creations, He will give him the choice to wear whichever garment of Iman he would like to wear.'' [At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: To adopt humility and not to assert superiority over others, according to this Hadith, is an excellent act with ALLAH. `The clothes of Iman' imply those special clothings of Jannah that ALLAH has prepared for sincere believers only.

Excellence of Adopting Moderation in Dress

2. `Amr bin Shu`aib on the authority of his father and grandfather reported: Messenger of ALLAH (PBUH) said, "ALLAH loves to see the sign of His Bounties on his slave.'' [At-Tirmidhi].

Commentary: A simple dress is commendable if one wears it as a gesture of humility wining ALLAH's Pleasure. Yet, to zealously pursue the goal of goodness, to extend a helping hand to the indigent and the needy, to behave favourably towards one's relatives and to wear a fine dress as a manifestation of ALLAH's Favours are equally good acts of high merit. A fine dress is not impeachable in itself but it becomes so, if worn with an air of arrogance and self-importance. On the other hand, an expression of Divine bounty makes it praiseworthy. In other words, it is the intention which makes an act good or bad. Alongside the practice of the example of Messenger of ALLAH (PBUH), the sincerity of action and making right intention, therefore, become indispensable.

Of Furniture

2011-02-27T21:57:00.002+08:00

rushingly entering the apartment, i paused and took a loooooong observation of everything in it.they're constant, standing before me, looking so boring. only me, the living one can make the place alive again. the stillness of the furniture, the 1-month pile of layered dust on every surface, the additional specks of dusts floating in the air, each speck reflecting the morning sunlight coming from the window, the dusty window.. it was new year. Happy new year!

how boring it is to live the life of a furniture. reminded me of the essays i used to do back in primary school. the life of a kasut la, pena la, basikal la..

if you can steal a second from the world,creating a jump in between time instead of the normal continuous flow, the ones most affected are the the ones mobile. the outside cars would crash against each other. the airplane would fall from the sky. people in motion would be in weird positions. funny. or not. accidents. deaths. or not. those would be the ones you run out to, as you are more conscious and aware of them.

time is important for the ones mobile. they change their positions as time goes by. not these stationary furniture. moving creatures and instruments create stuffs. not these stationary furniture. once you close the door, they are not perceived anymore. not from your perspective anyway. totally ignored by the world,. those poor locked up furniture, stationed in their position, living in exile, loyal to their Lord's command. knowing that while the world is looking away and He, is not, it makes you gush over at how ultra infinitely amazing the Almighty is.

after so long and you're back again to have them in view, you remember how you once sat on the couch, how you once stepped on that floor, how you once touched that wood.. you realise those memories flashing back are just the bits of life you once lived. and how one day in the future, you will review these bits of life you've tasted. and they'll be memories. how you once walked on the grass, how you sat on the rock..and how you soon left the earth like how you once left the house. coz you're just a temporary resident..accommodating the space just for a lil while. or a longer while. depends.you realise how incompetent you are,how small you are against the world.against God's will.

for the friend, the housemate, the companion, the teacher, the helper, the sister, the one person for the moment, no longer here with me to continue sharing our lives like the last 2 years, i wish you the best of everything. with you, we have made a house a home. i wish i could have given you more. we are only aware of the ones we're aware of. and when unexpected events occur, it'll require a while to straighten everything up. but it should not take you a while to remember the One who has controlled it all.

for my dear beautiful (sometimes weird=P) companion,

Prophet Muhammad SAW said; whoever has a favour done for him and says to the one who did it "jazakAllahu khayran has done enough to thank him (Tirmidhi)- has done enough means he has thanked him sufficiently, by acknowledging his shortcoming and his inability to reward him so he defers hir reward to Allah so that He might reward him abundantly.

so jazakillah khairan kathiran my dear friend. i will sooooo miss you dearly.. have already been!

many things break your heart, and simply said, we are weak. there are people who only remember our al Khaliq at times of ease and forget Him at times of distress. and there are those who only remember our al Khaliq at times of distress and forget Him at times of ease.
and yet He is All aware of you.

its amazing how you actually live in islam. you watch your every single step. you move you body following the dalil. for the way you walk to school, there's a dalil. for the kind of place you go, theres a dalil. for the way you eat, theres a dalil. for the way you sleep theres a dalil. for your study there's a dalil. when you're wasting time, there's a dalil. when you're too busy the're a dalil. when you're too occupied with worldy gains there's a dalil. when you let go off all your worldly matters, there's a dalil. when you have too much spare time, theres a dalil. when you're sick there's a dalil. when you feel your heart thumps there's a dalil. when you're quiet theres a dalil, when you're loud theres a dalil.what plays in your mind when you're alone, theres a dalil. its like a life full of dalils. a life made with/for zikrullahs.

yea, well how else would you expect.. the world is, after all made for the humans.

Amr Khaled

2011-01-15T08:04:00.000+08:00

Salam.
For some unknown reason mid last year,
the amr khaled.net page has been reconstructed and many articles are no longer there.

Here are some of his articles, on Allah SWT's names

If you're not much of a reader, (and even if you are) you might prefer the video lectures.
His intonations and facial expressions create better mood and feel in addition to deeper insight of the contents.
I do recommend the videos.
They dont seem to post his lectures with subtitles on youtube though,
but there are some on google.co.uk videos. check them out.

Amr Khaled. May Allah reward him greatly for his work.

wallpaper pics

2010-10-20T10:40:00.002+08:00

a beuuuuuttttttttiful desktop wallpaper site for nature,
some fantasies here and there,
but overall such detailed beauty,
imagine the incomparable syurga.

nature pictures

the insignificant us

2010-08-05T05:49:00.004+08:00

See the beautiful amazing comparisons between planets, and stars!!!

how can they be sustained naturally, if not well planned?

such Brilliant, Mighty Creator.

Maka sujudlah kamu

Lughaat-al-Qur'an

2010-07-26T16:40:00.009+08:00

salam guys!

this is one great link to better understand our classical al qur'an language (lughaatul qur'an.)

http://www.studyquran.org/ArabicDictionaries.htm

yeah, the page might look a bit unattractive and plain, but if you can check out "Lughaat Al Qur'an - by G.A. Parwez (English translation: Word document or PDF document)",
(2nd line from the top, you'd find some interesting meanings and information iAllah.)

please please PLEASE take some time to read=)))))

If the whole of mankind and the jinn were to gather together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed each other up. (17:88)

of a girl

2010-05-12T15:30:00.004+08:00

those pics were taken last week. i was walking home after a sleep over at a azeem's house on lygon street the night before. i actually memang intended to balik rumah around that time so i can see these kids go to school. used to see them often every morning when i was staying on lygon street last year. the small girls were so cute in their white tudungs and bags. nampak sangat tak ada masalah kehidupan. i'd been observing them from a far lagi. rasa mcm nak capture the moment dgn my camera, but i then changed my mind, later i changed my mind again and stopped to take their photo.actually i had already passed them, so i had to patah balik. talk about slow decision making.(the budak lelaki stared at me so i sort of buat2 mcm nak amik gambar the scenery belakang diorg). they were so loud, the girls, too bad i cant understand their language. the pakcik was talking to them about something, probably telling them to be careful crossing the road , which he should! the girls mcm full of stamina to run around everywhere. diorg even main acah2 nak lintas and the pakcik had to tell them off. yeah its not funny, kids.

after the third picture, i stopped snapping and continued looking at them laughing and running. then when diorg tgh nk cross from the tram track, one of the girls leading the run somehow stopped in the middle of the road to look at those behind her (i think one girl called out to her to wait and stop, i cant really tell coz as i said i didnt understand them) and a car loudly and lama2 tekan hon. it was already red light for the pedestrians. she screamed and laughed and cepat2 lari balik towards the tram track where all the others were. i could hear her being scolded by the pakcik. and memang should la. nak main main jugak, tapi situation kene sedar jugak, you're on a road, girl.

so i stopped observing them, continued walking,and stifled a laugh...
which, after a few seconds later, turned out to BE a laugh.

dont get me wrong. its not that i find it funny, her almost being killed like that. its just that i think i understand her,(if she was thinking the way i thought she was la). i think kids, being ignorant as they are, tend to challenge the dangers around them. i used to feel that way too which explains my generalisation. once, i remember trying to feel how its like to drown, so i sort of pulled ainul further into the deeper part of the river we were bathing in and erm, well, kira mcm nak try together drown la konon.=D coz at that time my dad was near,he was also in the water, so i was confident he'll manage to save us before anything bad happens, as he always do. then we both can have an interesting historical STORY to tell people, of "how we survived from drowning".. wouldnt that be coooooooooooool??! ainul wasnt too thrilled about it though, not at all in fact haha, and until now, regardless of how i tried to defend myself, she'll never budge from her accusation towards me, of wanting to kill my own sister. oh!

and i remember a point mentioned by my grandmother last summer. she asked me whether dekat australia selalu ingat mati atau tak. then my mum jawabkan, of course la ingat. and my tok said to me, i'm sure you wouldnt feel too scared of it regardless, because tok and mak masih ada. biasanya org2 muda, selagi mak dia masih hidup, selagi tu la dia akan fikir mak dia yg akan mati dulu. ni tambah2 lagi tok pun masih hidup. takkan terfikir nya la kita akan mati dulu sebelum nenek kita, kan? org2 muda mmg mcm tu.padahal risiko sama je.

so yeah, i recalled them while walking back. that young girl looked so excited after being horned at, and getting off the road alive! she didnt seem worried at all, like it was all fun and games. must have been an experience for her. and the elders (such as the pakcik and myself) thinking of how she should not have done that. thinking how careless that act was. then there's my nenek, thinking how youths dont think of death too often, and how foolish they are not to be aware of it and be prepared. kalau lah org2 yg dah mati were able to talk, imagine THEIR advice. definitely would not be "you live only once, so live life to the fullest".

there's too much ignorance in this world.

Assignment Aftereffects

2010-05-02T09:22:00.005+08:00

melbourne nights, sunsets, and a sunrise.

The Beauty of Colours

2010-04-07T07:41:00.007+08:00

I have always been interested in colours. Yes, life would be terribly dull without them. But we have been tuned to perceive colours as the material object, instead of realising the mechanics of our colour perception- and what we cannot see.

During high school, i remember learning about how the eyes process the lights around us to create perception. But we didnt go further on that, and i didnt try to go intensively on that chapter either, coz basically, we all studied FOR exam lol. Then interestingly, during IB, i got the chance to take higher level biology, and we indulged ourselves in neurons and the brains..and i got the chance to learn literature from Dr Reed, and we indulged ourselves in sensing the hidden meanings of words and sentences, and create imaginations and perceptions of our own.THAT'S LITERATURE people!

Most significantly, during IB, i learned Theory of Knowledge (TOK) by MR Shaw, and one of the main chapters of the subject is on "what is true and what is not". It did touch about how do we know a true religion a bit, (i remember osem sending warning messages to all of us about this), but i will not explain on that part. But TOK also touched a lot on our perceptions of the world, one specific task was whether colours are true.

Now in uni, all praise to Allah, i was moved enough to take psychology, which led me to the task of researching on how lights and colours affect our perceptions. And later today, i'm assigned to watch the sunset and write a report about it, or something like that.

Colour is a perception. They are distinguished by the light’s wavelengths generated through the eyes, and our brain processes this information to produce a visual display (IN THE BRAIN) that we experience as colours. This means that colours only exist within the brain. All along, it is solely light that is travelling from the object to our eyes,and it is solely light that we are actually seeing/watching, the object itself is not coloured, do you get what i'm trying to say?.

I wont go deeper into the scientific mechanism of how we derive light, coz its toooooo long, i'd have to touch on the eyeballs and neurons and brain parts,but basically,visible light that we see is merely just a small part of the full electromagnetic spectrum, which extends from cosmic rays at the highest energies down through the middle range (gamma rays, X- rays, the ultraviolet, the visible, the infrared, and radio waves) all the way down to the lowest energies. We see only the visible. In simple words, our eyes and brain do not provide visual perception of the non-visible light from the sun. In simpler words,we don't see everything. full stop=)

However, some animals can be different;

1. Bees
We see red,they see black+ uv purple,
we see orange they see yellow/green,
we see Yellow they see Yellow/green+Uv purple,
we see green they see green,
we see blue, they see blue+Uv violet,
we see violet they see Blue+Uv blue,
we see Purple they see Blue,
we see White they see Blue green,
we see Black and they see black.

2. Dogs
Instead of seeing the rainbow as violet, blue, blue-green, green, yellow, orange and red, dogs would see it as dark blue, light blue, grey, light yellow, darker yellow (sort of brown), and very dark grey. In other words, dogs see the colours of the world as basically yellow, blue and grey.

3. Birds
Birds typically can see far better than humans can. Their colour perceptions are those of humans + uv rays.

4. Deep sea fish
Until recently it was believed that deep-sea fish were unable to see red light, as these wavelengths are filtered out before reaching deep water. It turns out that a variety of these fish see colours in red, and this fluorescence is visible for short distances.

5. Snakes
Certain species of snake have thermal pits in addition to their eyes, extending their spectral range into the infrared.

6. Bulls.
Interestingly, bulls are not able to distinguish colour and would see the bullfighter’s red cape in shades of grey. They follow its movements, but do not perceive it as red - the red colour is only useful in its effect on the human spectators.

A recent debate was initiated by Liz Elliot, when Liz claimed that pink is not a colour, as it does not exist in the spectrum of visible light i.e. the rainbow. She goes on to explain that when red and violet light (longest and shortest wavelength) enters the eyes at the same time, our brain processes these two extremes by inventing a new colour halfway; which is THE VERY VERY BEAUTIFUL COLOUR PINK. So, pink is our brains' own creation, not existing in the spectrum of colours. And if its just a mind's creation, its nothing more than a perception.

When people see new colours, they tend to ask, “Has someone invented a new colour?”.I once asked my mum that, and she thinks i think too much hah.Well, they have not, but they certainly have invented new materials that produce colours (reflect/absorb lights) that people could not make before. Things like new paints, new inks, new kinds of televisions.However, when we experience new colours, we tend to think that they are invented. That is because colour is truly a perception that is unique to our brains and we tend to consider any new colour experiences as new "inventions",when its not.

We even dream in colours! And why wouldn't we? What we see in dreams is believed to be stimulation of the visual areas of the brain from the brain itself rather than from our eyes. If those areas of the brain can help us perceive colour based on the signals from our eyes when we are awake, why shouldn't they also be able to produce colour perceptions when stimulated by the brain?

Now come to think of these, if different beings can see different and limited sets of colours their whole lives, then the colours we see are not exactly there, right? And, if there are colours like pink, which are totally invented by the brain itself, then, that colour does not exactly exist if our brain disfunctions right? And, when we can even perceive colours when asleep and with our eyes close, then those colours don’t exactly exist right?If we only manage to see colours because we have a part of our brain that perceives light that way, then if we dont have that brain anymore, the colour cease to exist. It wont be there anymore, its not material.

I'm very intrigued by the fact that the colours we see, are our own creations.sorry, i mean, our "mind's" own perception. its almost like we ARE living in a world of perception. or a world of imaginations. or a world dreams. we only say the world's a reality because this is the ONLY dream that we keep back coming to, that we keep wake up to, apart from the ones we see in sleep, or the ones in the other dimensions. And just imagine, when we wake up to the day of judgement, even this world of so-called-reality cant be denied its similarity to just-a-dream.

In the midst of our varied ability to perceive different wavelengths, Allah SWT has stated in the al Qur’an, “No vision can grasp Him, but His grasp is over all vision” (surah al An’am; 103), signalling how our Creator the Almighty knows the limitations and differences of the visions of His creations.Wallahu'alam.

when painting wont do

2009-12-23T16:19:00.003+08:00

ask me for an advice,i'll tell you to try your hand on painting if not drawing. i believe indulging your mind into those tit bits of every dot can swing your whole view point to another height. ok,farisa roslan would say i'm being my over exxagerating self again, but its true!try it.

one time during this summer break, i tried to do this family portrait. its still there, right in front of me depan this laptop, unfinished, coz i couldnt help laughing every time i try to continue.

you see, there i was with the family photo in one hand and a pencil in the other, having finished sketching mak,ainul,mine,nisa,ifa and ayah's head and then perfectly trying to sketch ayah's t-shirt, which is crumpled from holding newborn baby ifa. the baju was rather difficult to be sketched as i could not figure out how the shape of the baju could come out to be.its like there are many extra lumps of red cloth on ayah's red t shirt, on the left side.so i sat there for bout a few minutes wondering what in the world that cloth is. in the picture, nisa seemed to be sitting on the sofa head right behind him, so there's no way by any chance the cloth could be hers..unless she wasnt sitting on the sofa head, but leaning on ayah's back with her kaki tangled to his side till her red shorts kind of nampak mcm ayah's own red baju. and the latter true..somehow all this realisation seemed too humorous to me as i connected how the real shape of nisa's red shorts should look like to the one i've drawn as ayah's extra piece of cloth, thus i couldnt stop laughing and cursing little nisa for sitting on top of poor old ayah (who in the picture doesnt seem to mind), and for making me confused.knowing nisa, should she know that in the future i would get my hands randomly on this photo and examine her so called princess-like position,she'd position herself a lil bit better.but who can guess the future huh.

pictures do tell a thousand of stories yeah..and when you draw the little bits and pieces, there tend to be some funny sides of it too, the ones you tend to miss if you only look at it by a glance of two.drawing makes you appreciate stuffs,and further comprehend them. so do try.
and another thing i realised, its much more difficult to draw the smiley faces of the ones who are not with you anymore..and your own smiley faces when you were with them.

ramadhan the first with love

2009-08-23T05:45:00.006+08:00

yesterday which was first of ramadhan, a friend of mine's grandmother,passed away.and what's more,she died after we finished our solat tarawih here in melbourne,which means,sana kat malaysia,it would have been during maghrib;which means betul2 the start of ramadhan.may that be the best for her. from Allah we came and to Allah we'll return.definitely.al-fatihah..

one thing i realised early this year kan,when my sister nisa was sent to hospital was,that it hurt me so badly to know that she was suffering in pain.even though i wasnt even there to see her cry,or to witness the operation and all,the thought of her "feeling" the pain and being frightened, the thought of me unable to do anything to ease her burden and share the kesakitan,and the thought of her having to go through all those scary stages of operation alone,and most importantly,the though of how my mum is feeling,were enough for me to be disturbed every single day and to cry as well.i have always wanted (and "tried" though many many many countless times failed) to be the one whom my sisters can turn to,and seek advice from etc.and the feeling of unable to save nisa then, was seriously terribly saddening,almost like a failure of myself.

anyway,back to what i realised hehe,it was that,what if i can see nisa suffering from death itself?that would be more traumatic kot,to the power of infinity.lets say she dies (ya Allah panjangkanlah umur adikku) if i can actually see and know how she is being questioned,how she is being treated by the malaikats and etc...and the fact of how multipliedly frightened she'll be, coz she'll have to experience all that alone without suport too,imply how much MORE helpless i will be nanti.i cant imagine how i am going to feel if i ever be given the chance to witness THAT.

if we see someone whom we have loved and taken care of,whom we have groomed from kecik sampai besar,whom we have helped and protected from harm,if we see that someone being tortured nanti (na'uzubillah)..that would surely excruciatingly disturb us so much more than if we see him or her being tortured by a painful illness here on earth kan?clearly humans are so powerless,not just for their family but even for our own selves.how FRUSTRATING is that?..see how much we actually need Allah's forgiveness and blessings and help?.

may my friend's grandmother be given forgiveness,dan dimudahkan urusannya.amin~

and happy fasting everyone!
happy fasting aleen,fatin,kay,fida,jiha,maryam,aiman,pau,amien,mirul,khairul,osem,hafiz!!
happy fasting bila,ain,ejan,suha,piya,che nat,pikah,kuya,nana,sya.
happy fasting hannah,ainin,zuhra,awin,tihah,mek yah!
i love you all.

BY THE WAY!!its almost spring here!weeeeeeeeeeee.new leaves are popping out.one time ni i walked along a pathway with trees and flowers along both sides,and omg,the air actually smells!
i was like,"wait,am i just imagining this, but is the pollen-concentration betul2 high?" gile jakun.
here are some pictures i took of half blooming/already bloomed flowers on the way to uni=D
have no idea the names of these plants,i should go check them out.and there are a lot more photos,maybe i'll upload them later.cheers!!!!

n

exam rush

2009-05-25T08:56:00.002+08:00

final exam's on the way in two weeks tyme..
wish me luck people..
and oh aleen and fatin,do invite me smula to read your blog.grrr

of friends

2009-04-20T18:29:00.003+08:00

EASTER BREAK

DAYS OF JOY AND LAUGHTER

WITH OLD IB FRIENDS FROM ANU

PAOE AND SIANG HANG

BRINGING BACK MEMORIES OF THE OLD DAYS..

MISSING ALL OTHER IB MATES~

XOXO <3

some reflections of what we are..

2009-04-05T11:36:00.002+08:00

ahahaha sorry people for late posts..its not that i have been so occupied with stuffs (i'm still an active facebook member) ..its just that i've been having so many things to talk about but then i kept thinking that i should keep them to myself and express to others whom i'll be meeting face to face..get what i mean?and sometimes i try to type them down and they went up to be so long that i decided that its too long for a post so i deleted them again and again.kenapa laaa begini..aleen,fatin,kay,mary i need you to check my essays hmm..

anyway,melbourne is indeed very nice,though nice is too simple for a description.i'm staying in a students apartment, alone,hopefully planning to move out ngn azeem next year and live together kat another block.=) there have been a lot of open houses and a lot of garage sales lately,even yesterday agnes and ze ying went to a garage sale somewhere,and another one they went last two weeks ago.omg the garage sales here are worth it believe me,so people coming to melb,inform me if nk cari cheap stuffs,i know where=)

the days are sometimes hot yeah,but the winds are basically always always cold,so knowing myself yg tak tahan sejuk,i'll bring along a jacket or sweater everytime i go out just in case.but its sooo kering.reminder to others who are coming to any parts of australia:pakai moisturisers and creams and minum banyak air.if in malaysia you drink 8 glasses everyday,try to get ten glasses everyday in aust..insyaAllah water wont kill you ha3.

one thing that kept me thinking..ever since the last few years people have been asking me (i'm not sure whether its randomly or purposely) about whether i'm an extremist or not..even during ib some people come up to me utk tanya zahra you're not an extreme muslim kan?even here in melbourne i got a few people asking me the same thing..

can i get things right..to some future askers and future answerers/explainers..i dont think there should be any labelling between muslims. and i dont agree with muslims saying that they are not an extremist,coz to me, i think if you are a true muslim or if you are trying to be a true muslim, then you should be an extremist.being a muslim simply means penyerahan diri sepenuh penuhnya to the one and only God.isnt that an extreme already?you dont divide any other attention,or purpose or reason for living other than for Allah SWT.and every single day you claim that ibadatku,hidupku,matiku hanyalah utk Allah SWT during your prayers.if you are a true muslim then you should understand what you are saying.and if you understand then you should also mean it,that everything is really is only for Allah SWT.so if everything is for Allah SWT,then that is an enough definition for an extreme kan?everyday,you vow to be an extremist,and so everyday you should berusaha utk menjadi one.

its only when the misguided definition of an extreme muslim happens that we muslims ourselves think that being a lesser extremist is better and more closer to the real meaning of a true muslim.coz if you label terrorists who kill non muslims who havent done them any harm as extremists,that doesnt really show an extremist of islam coz they did not fully embody the islamic moral and teachings which strictly prohibited muslims from endangering non muslims who didn't start the attack,and that attacks on a muslim's part should only be for self defence..coz an extreme muslim would be treating non muslims gently and respectfully coz Allah told us to, and would be telling the truth about everything coz Allah told us to, and would never harm someone else's body and properties coz Allah told us not to, and would help his or her brothers and sisters coz Allah told us to and would only talk when necessary and when it would bring goodness to talk because Alah told us to..these are extremes,coz you only do goodness to other people and to yourself because of Allah,and because you bow to Allah's orders and not to anyone or anything else.everything that you do is not because of a simple lust, instead you develop your lust and your wants and your characteristics/personality in line with what Allah told you to be.i think that's extreme enough, and yes we should be an extreme in seeking and doing goodness.so be proud to be one(and be proud to try to be one).=)

and talking about a true muslim,learning the meaning of Qur'an and hadiths is an obligation for all muslims,so all of us should study and understand what being a muslim stands for, and practice it.we always admire those people who have reverted to Islam,thinking that they have gone through all the thinking and learning processes and finally achieved their best own decision and understanding of the true belief so they have reached a high level of kemanisan iman..but that is actually compulsary for all of us,not just for a non muslim who is seeking the truth but also for us muslims who also should be seeking.

one of the reasons for syirik is because of mengikut the footsteps of nenek moyang.the people of jahiliyyah followed the teachings and actions of their fathers without questioning and thinking...now,what would you do if you're not borned and raised as a muslim?..would you simply follow your parents' religions and beliefs without further studying them?ask yourselves..maybe because you're scared they'd disown you if you convert to another religion or something of your own personal conflicts..

dont you think that if you claim to be a muslim,just because you're borned as one and not because you really understand it and fully practise it,then you'd kinda be just the same as mengikut the footsteps of others and the nenek moyangs which thus means that you're not really a true muslim?...

then you cant just simply claim that you'll get to heaven jugak in the end coz you've already stated the kalimah syahadah and thus you're officially a muslim already. that is truely a lie,you're lying to yourself and to others, but of course never to Allah swt..dont expect much happy endings if you're only a muslim by words and physical..we need to seek it too,not just a non muslim.it is indeed a kewajiban,so dont take it easy.learn.and learn some more..

Melbourne

2009-02-18T13:48:00.000+08:00

it's nice=)

the cartoons

2009-01-18T16:56:00.003+08:00

you know that people say that tv programmes influence your kids?do you believe it?to a large or small extent??

i dislike Courage the cowardly dog
coz i think i saw some kid acting like one
i dislike pingu
coz i think i saw some kid walking like one
i dislike spongebob
coz i think i saw some kid talking like one

uuughhh but who cares.you cant protect everyone from everything kan.they're all in the process of growing up and learning..and the childhood years of "believing in the magical world of imagination"

cheers!

with so much love greater than you can ever imagine..

2009-01-07T21:15:00.003+08:00

there's one experience which i'll never ever forget in my whole entire life.and if the memory starts to fade away,i'll reread this post again and again and again to remind myself of it and to indulge the same feeling i had that night.

it was the time when i waited for the online results to come out at 1.30 am on the 7th january malaysia time.the feeling was something i couldnt even half-fully explain in words. all through the night i braced myself with zikir and doa, telling myself that i should always redha if Allah mentakdirkan for me to fail. i told myself that i should not lose hope in Him,that whatever He gives me is only an ujian dunia.kalau keputusannya baik, adalah supaya kita bertambah mensyukuri nikmatNya.kalau keputusannya not good enough to be sponsored, then its utk menguji keimanan dan kesabaran kita.whether kita bersabar menerima kekalahan dunia,and meningkatkan amal ibadat.it might be due to some usaha yg sambil lewa or sins yg tak disedari,which He wants us to reflect upon and take them as pengajaran wallahu'alam.i told myself that apa yg ditetapkan Allah, it's for my best.Maybe if i further my degree there,i'd turn up to be someone bad,someone yg terlalu bangga diri,or get influenced by some negative social group,or lupa diri and hurt my parents,or i'll get killed if i go there, who knows,we humans have no idea.that knowledge is not of our power. sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu.

despite all these assurance i was so "irrevocably and unconditionally" frightened. honestly until now, i dont think i can handle the sadness and frustration kalau tak pass.the frustration akan dibawa sampai tua.i know i will not be able to built myself up again.my whole confidence akan hancur and i couldnt make myself to start imagine how that would affect me..when i say frightened i MEAN frightened.trembling to the very least believe me..my hands were cold and i culdnt move.indeed i could not move and i'm not exxagerating or heightening the effects at all. ramai IB students tgh online masa 12 am and ramai farisian friends buzzed me, yet i couldnt move a muscle to type an answer. i didnt hear myself breathing.and i couldnt blink.my eyes wont blink hahaha.its like to blink pun, mcm stretching the whole body and menambahkan the tension.pelik kan?i'm sure takder org yg jadi mcm ni mase tunggu results.scary.

so all did was berdoa and berzikir utk menenangkan diri.bezikir menenangkan hati believe me,membawa kita mengingati kuasa sebenar dan tujuan kehidupan.membawa kita utk berserah diri dan lupakan dunia yg hanya sementara.ni baru ketakutan menghadapi cabaran dunia je baru ni.dah lemah semangat dah. as i prayed i thought of how i would feel nanti semasa menunggu keputusan mahkamah keadilan akhirat..if mcm ni la my response to the nervousness of getting an IB diploma result, ketakutan menunggu turn utk dibicarakan should be lagi la to the power of infinity.dan ya Allah betapa diri ini selalu leka.rugi tak kalau one second berlalu,and we did nothing?tak buat dosa, tak buat pahala.bernafas je.padahal kalau kita bertasbih,berganda pahala boleh dapat.kumpul dah pahala situ,easily without any physical or emotional halangan pun.and most of us say that time tidak mencukupi.have we ever really tried to gain as much pahala as possible?cause if during kesenangan pun we did not try to gain pahala,how are we to justify our usaha utk mendpatkan keampunan dan syurga Allah?am i right?as how petronas has set kan the cut off point to be 35 over 45 points, one single point less could give a major impact on this objective decision.(may i say objective, coz it's either you fly or not.yes or no.*ding*.tak ade pertengahan.) that is also how objective akhirat will be.and one small petit extra point of pahala holds such a big effect.tiada ketakutan yg boleh mengatasi ketakutan setiap insan di akhirat nanti, termasuklah mereka yg beriman.sedarkah kita?ramai yg sedar,tapi lupa afterwards..thats why we need to saling nasihat menasihati sesama saudara seagama.

Syukur Alhamdulillah.tak terhingga for my results. I PASSED!! I'M GOING AUSSIE! Alhamdulillah..Now i'm waiting for petronas to inform me which uni i'll be going. melbourne uni or ANU.Alhamdulillah.one funny thing was kan,i waited for five minutes to get my hands to move.coz at 130 my hands practicaly x boleh move at all and i stared at the laptop blankly reminding myself that it was already 130 and that the results were out.now i'm not being dramatic over here, as much as i love drama, i do not put drama into my life.so again, believe me when i say i could not move.haha.now, masa finally i keyed in the pin number,tibe tibe datang la anis azmani ni tanya "zachry,dpt berapa!!" and i tak masukkan the code pun lagi anis!you spoiled my trance!!my moment of silence!my melody of deathly breath.wek.i'm soooo going to do that to you nanti july beware!=Phar har har. the first non-IB student yg i told my results to is AINUL MARDHIAH!(sorry i woke you from sleep nul)the second is KAK NUR NASUHA!!(thankyou kak suha sbb melayan zahra ni,im sure kak suha sbnrnye tgh busy kan after masak kat ireland tu haha).alhamdulillah alhamdulillah.

Yes i'm relieved, doesnt mean i'm happy though.i'm happy to be relieved.i told myself ada hikmahnya why i'm chosen..so i could improve myself when i'm overseas?alhamdulillah..to my dearest most beautifully perfect ever so loved friends who did not make it.this is not the end.we will meet each other again and we wil find how Allah SWT menetapkan rezeki masing masing. dissappointment yes.tears yes.anger?no..dont ever say that you are not clever enough or find faults on yourself.coz the 22 of us were specially handpicked from the sponsor themselves,all of us are clever..just that Allah has allocate different rezeki for each one of us.what is good for me might not be good for you.what might seemed and assumed to be good, might not be truly good in reality.mungkinkah Allah lebih menyayangi anda, dan memberi peluang utk anda mengaut keuntungan pahala yg berlipat ganda melalui kesabaran dan keredhaan?ujian dunia yg jika anda melaluinya dengan hati yg redha tanpa langsung berburuk sangka terhadap Allah..satu kenikmatan iman yg boleh dibawa ke pengadilan akhirat..you know,i faham your feelings.i know that whatever i said takkan heal the wound.easier said than done kan?i know i know i'm sorry..i empathise..and how i wish i could help make everything better..all parts of me are here for you if you need anything,anything at all.

with so much love, greater than you can ever imagine;
zahra.

spread the chicken pox everywhere!!!

2009-01-03T23:10:00.005+08:00

people everywhere..

please please learn some biology.

i mean, at least about your health and what you should and should not take from clinics and pharmacies. everytime ingat balik about that doctor in seremban ainul went to see rase mcm nk go embarrasskan dia and bagi some lecture about honesty. i mean, please laa doct. your patient dapat demam campak and you gave her ANTIBIOTICS???!! what the..

chicken pox, is a viral disease.virus.The virus is called the varicella-zoster virus. again, a virus. for treatment, you'll need antiVIRAL drugs..and for prevention, you'll need vaccination.now, antibiotics are only for diseases caused by bacteria.antibiotics do not have any effect on any virus..that is one of the basics in medicine, how can you not know it?or forget, if thats your excuse. or honestly, maybe you just want my sister to buy something, and since you dont have an antiviral in your clinic you made her buy antibiotics..shame on you. and ainul did not say anything when she perfectly know about this as she was too weak and sick to argue.are you aware that you're treating a medic student??how i wish i was there and can question your qualification there and then.i can be sarcastic at times..ok zahra, take a deep breath..

anyway, back to what i was about to say, everyone should be aware of certain things like this and you dont have to be a medic student to care. it's your body the doctors are messing up with, and you should at the very least be aware of what they are giving you. Here's a link to a website that explains about antibiotics, antiviral and antifungal.it's not the best website, but it does help to clear things up about their differences and functions.

http://www.drreddy.com/antibx.html

thankfully ainul's ok now. masa ainul balik rumah my mum was like, "okay, smua org dlm rumah ni akan dapat chicken pox!!!"while laughing, then berubah muka serious,"tapi jgn sorang pun ever run away dari kak ainul tau" haha and ainul was like, "i wanna hug semua orang in the house and mak's backing me up!!" nul, you hugged thalhah a lot and now tengok what happened.thalhah dapat campak today..and lusa bukak sekolah.haha. one thing funny was, mlm2 nisa tido ngn selimut..its pelik coz nisa tak suka tido ngn selimut..(in our room, we have two single beds and one queen size double bed,all in a row, me and ainul on the double bed with ainul kat hujung skali, ifa on the single bed next to me and nisa kat single bed next to ifa.) it had been a week now, and baru today we found out that the reason was, "sebab nisa takut virus kak ainul masuk kat nisa.." virus kan kecik..lol.

i love you girls<3>

post btn

2008-12-23T02:09:00.004+08:00

after btn i felt totally relieved and excited! relieved because the torture of such discipline+sports+humiliating embarrassment for my carelessness (which i prefer not to be mentioned by anyone ever again!!). and excited because that was the starting of my REAL holiday, back to kemaman,the sweet small and quiet town of chukai where i dont really know anyone,but people know me.(i mean, they know me as someone's sister or someone's daughter but seldom me as in myself.i guess i've been away too long and keeping myself to myself too much).

i was very much into the mood of doing things for others.i always have this feeling like that i havent spent enough time with my family,like i have been taking them for granted all this while when i know i havent but still it feels like it. dont let me get you to think that it was because of btn that i suddenly get this epiphany.absolutely not!to me, btn can be relevant to a certain point,maybe to some people to a higher point.however it had just simply DEMOTIVATED me.this reminds me of the motivation theories in business textbook..herzberg's and taylors especially.i enjoyed the company of new friends and the discussions are thorough and well done i salute you,but i get very irritated in being pushed and overly criticised.it makes me wonder whether the people who are doing their masters etc have to undergo this kind of treatment as well.if so, i pity them.and i also wonder whether this is the kind of treatment which contributes to making malaysians passive.if so, i'm terrified..coz we have this kind of treatment everyday.

out of the btn example now, sometimes we let people push us too much,we do things others tell us to do,maybe with threats and consequences of failing to do so.we let ourselves feel inferior and they superior.yeah, well, they have the power and authority perhaps. but still, there should be limits, maturity limits i must say for such treatments. each authority over someone (a country's human capital for instance, for a perception) must be balanced with respect. the older a person is, the higher is his maturity and dignity so the higher is the level of respect they should get. and the problem with malaysia is, we get matured faster now if compared to a decade ago, no make it five years ago. kids nowadays can think what is right and what is wrong, what is a need and what is a want.to be constantly told to listen and follow as most primary teachers do rather than listen and discuss is supressing some part of a dignity. it makes it worse when secondary teachers do the same thing,by thinking that that is the way to fully discpline a kid. well i think this kind of treatment really pressures the growth of maturity in us leading us to thinking that we're still incapable and incompetent when we're actually not.

i have had a fair share of time with primary schoolchildren.i spent 25 hours teaching shy government schoolkids and i spent 50 hours of pottery classes with the more outgoing private schoolkids. and i can see their different way of thinking very significantly.the previous ones are very quiet and passive when i asked them their views over very simple things like science stuff and a debate over why doughnuts are better that currypuffs, while the private kids in my pottery class came up to me and share their views of the world.one actually came up to me and talked about china's history and the petrol price hike and singapore's city area.thats when i started comparing them.and apart from the extra input already given by the private kids' parents, i strongly believed it was because of the way they were treated, in and outside of school. believe it or not, our children do grow up very fast, mentally.and we need to nurture these growth,let them free actively by letting them speak and think at the same time.

uugh, still so much more to say, but i need to sleep.will update later.tomorrow:of to kelantan!!

A skip of the heartbeat..No More IB Yeay!!

2008-11-22T00:47:00.003+08:00

THE INTERNATIONAL BACCALAUREATTE DIPLOMA PROGRAMME IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER!!THE WHOLE TWO YEARS ARE OVERRRR!!
~background music : fire crackers,bombs,canon balls,guns~

actually tak tau nak rase mcm mana.i'm very relieved, but not too happy as i'm still so nervous waiting for the results in january. even when after french tadi we all (the girls je) jumped into the d'shire swimming pool (since the guards kat school tak bagi we all jump into the school's swimming pool without permission by a teacher, and fyi all teachers have gone for their kursus), i am very aware that the portrayal of happiness and excitement shown by the jumping and splashing and screaming and laughing does not reflect much of my feelings at that time at all, i jumped mainly for the sake of joining and making a splash of termination-beginning gap between ib and the upcoming new life of not sure yet what) i've done the best i can,prayed as hard as i can,i hope the outcome would be the best for me and family. Allah The Almigty knows.and i hope i'll have the strength of menerima segala ketentuan, frustration or nikmat dgn hati yg sabar and bersyukur. my dad always say, the greater the challenge, the more significant is Allah's love..i miss ayah..

Its been soo long since i 've been writing now mcm tak tau nk start kat mana though i know i've got plenty to blog about.i believe that i've been different eversince the few weeks before the exam. i'd shown most of my friends the worst of me at times and i do apologise. its not that i mean it..and i believe my friends especially my darling housemates had also shown the worst of themselves.you guys realised kan that when i'm stressed up i'll spend all the time i can get to be quiet and isolated, most importantly to be alone. and different people act differently at times of stress as exemplified by you guys=) i've realised some becoming more sarcastic and cold and more of a teaser,and some increasing the nagging habit=P hehe and some increasing their complaints and nonsence talk.it was fun observing,but of course i didnt spend time observing much pun coz i was too busy with myself and my own emotions to bother others at first..until the epiphany (moment of realisation or moment of truth, remember literature students??)datang..when maryam cried and everybody berkumpul and start la all this sesi luahan hati as we called it.and everybody was like mmm...oooo...kenape???...dont worry.. haha. it felt so good talking.to kay again i'm sorry i was sarcastic( i was never sarcastic to you kan hehe) to maryam i'm sorry i lose myself into all those messiness, to my farah nasuha farinordin i'm terribly sooo sorry that i had forgotten your birthdayyyy huuuu ..my mind was unsettled.is this the outcome of not taking english literature A1 seriously during the first year?i'm not quite sure. haha.

omg i really am gonna miss you ib mates la. i wonder how in the world we somehow MANAGED to get close to each other when we're all so very different in terms of everything! and i mean everything as in personality, physical caracteristics, tastes, needs and wants. i remember one time when me and my again beloved darling housies were lepak lepaking on the queen matress in the living room. remembered our dialogues in identifying one another's differences very well though not with any sequence..haha, see if you guys can identify who's who.

housie01: i rase smua org dlm rumah ni cacat except me and jiha je normal.

housie02: helllooooo you yg paling cacat.i tak penah jumpa anyone yg suara loudspeaker like you.

housie03: betul betul!i pun tak penah jumpa anyone yg suara kuat like you.

housie04: and i pun tak penah jumpa org yg boleh buat suara mcm soprano like you.

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila angkat phone nada dia hellooOOOO like you.

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg happy dgn a hair like yours.

housie05: i tak penah jumpa org yg feminine like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila jogging je sakit lutut terus like you

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg suka camwhore like you

housie05: i tak penah jumpa org yg boleh tak makan mcm you

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg menangis on the phone kuat2 like you

housie05: i tak penah jumpa org yg blur mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg ketawa kuat kuat mcm you

housie01: i tak penah jumpa org yg as messy as you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg kat atas table dia ada everything like you

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg as fair as you.

housie01: i tak penah jumpa org yg pemalas mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg suka nagging like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg boleh tido mana mana like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg tak makan batang sayur like you.

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg talkative gile non stop like you.

housie04: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila sneeze lawak like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg suara mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg fashion taste mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg bila lapar menangis mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg cakap ngn mak dia kuat mcm you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg jalan mcm samseng like you

housie02: i tak penah jumpa org yg makan laju mcm you

5 je yg active talking at that tyme coz jiha tgh dgn laptop and only mendengar and laugh.and housie03 and housie01 suggested a lot of other "i tak penah jumpas" but i forgot da their ideas..yeah yeah we're all very much and widely diverted kan.you know, i believe kan, opposites do not attract, they only contribute to the sustainability of a relationship/friendship.they contribute to the tides and waves of the constant sea of human relation (thanks to faizal i'm kinda influenced by his use of metaphors) which invigorate the feelings and deepen the understandings.

to the june batch of 2007, i wish you guys the best of luck. i must agree with khairul in that i also think that it is too late to change a higher level subject from english a1 to malay a1, and i had personally told hanis and sofia this. coz seriously 6 more months to go, its quite short a time for such drastic change.but then again if you guys are confident in yourselves and in your choices, go ahead with it and i wish you good luck. but please take note that what khairul wrote in his blog is basically an opinion, something to think about, suggesting some perceptions which you might not have seen.i did not expect such emotional responses.

she cant remember. he reads the notebook to her.

2008-09-10T21:43:00.006+08:00

since last week lagi kay has been telling me,

( a little bit like INSISTING and PERSUADING me)

to watch the romantic movie 'the notebook',

acted by the pretty rachel mc adams, ryan blablabla and that xmen cyclopes guy.

and yes people, the movie issssssss very romantic and touching indeed.

anybody who's feeling low at anytyme during these stressing months of ours,

i do recommend you to watch this movie yerrr!!!!

this recomendation refers mostly to the lovely romance loving girls

FADHLIN ALEEN yg dikasihi

and FATIN ADILAH TEENSIE yg disayangi selalu=)

and jiha has been telling me to watch this chinese movie, which stephen chow berlakon,

i think the movie's CJ7, bout this poor father and son and alien thingy.

jiha tgk la the notebook, then zahra tgk that movie kay=)

D.A.F.F.O.D.I.L.S

2008-09-05T16:56:00.003+08:00

Daffodils

I wander’d lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretch’d in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay;
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee;
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth

and i'm starting to believe..

2008-08-30T14:40:00.015+08:00

what do you do when your heart tells you something and your intellectual-protective-logical thinking mind tells you the other extreme? which one do you follow? i have always been someone who follows my mind and not the heart, but lately i found myself satisfying the wants and needs of the heart rather than my cute small lovable unique and (balanced) brain.now whats up with that?

and i was taught not to trust people's words too much (especially strangers,well, you know la my mum kan), and i've been practising that until about early last year, when i started to loosen up the protective negative thinking barrier and start the "i trust you" thingy.

but lately i've been keeping up with my old friends, listening to their stories and problems of splitting ups with boyfriends, being cheated, losses of family members, not passing interviews and exams and unable to go overseas. i realised that i myself would not have the guts to be strong if ever such frustrating depressing incidents happen to me. for a few months now i've been living with high hopes for the future, high happy hopes indeed, and ignored any saddening possibilities that might occur. and yesterday when i chatted with fariha about life i imagined those hopes crushing right in front of my eyes and i realised that i'm sooo unprepared for possible future bad news that right in front of my laptop i cried in fear, regardless of how i hate to admit it.i am sooo damn scared that someone's words might turn out to be just some sort of lies when i'm already soo expecting and in love , and i am scared that i would find myself not good enough to excel in my exams, and i am scared that some of my family would die without knowing how much i love them etc with all the other infinite possibilities.

biarlah kita ikhlas supaya tak terjadinya cinta yg mengharapkan balasan. kerana semua balasan datangnya dari Allah SWT. cintakan ilmu dgn harapan that you can excell in life.cintakan friends so that they can help you when you need them. cintakan seorang lelaki and you expect him to love you back and be yours till the end. only selfish people do that.what if the ilmu didnt help you in getting a good university or job?would you hate ilmu then?and what if your friends turn out to be someone not up to your expectations?would you leave them then since they cant be there for you now?and what if the guy you trusted and loved does something you dont want him to do?would you stop loving him then?
well there's always a degree of answers, no......depends.....yes, depending on how much you listen to your heart vs mind.

if heart, i guess mostly yes and if the mind, no-logically no.they say follow your heart, but i think in most cases, mind should overpower the heart in order for both to be safe in the end, that is, unless you manage to create your heart in such a way that it's perception is almost similar to that of the mind.think of Allah swt and you'll find the mind speaking against your nafsu-minded heart. a little bit of Boss against Zorba.

the thinking mind:

vs

the feeling heart.

cintalah mereka kerana mengharapkan balasan Allah, bukan balasan dari mereka. don't get me wrong, i'm not telling you not to cry or get angry etc if any unwanted things happened, but just, don't turn to the heart too much.get the right mix of your wants and needs.i know people who did so many unnecessary things when they experienced some depressing events..wanting to kill yourself and running away from home are seriously unnecessary means of treating your sadness. i'm definitely not saying that you should be so calm and smile through your problems, i mean, i would cry like hell if the persons i love leave me etc, but, berpada pada lah.look at yourself from a narrator's point of view. you're just a character in a story called LIFE.and this story, you will watch it again after you die, then, not as a character anymore, but a viewer..a summary of what we characters did.

accounting time..
if our life is a business deal...

the balance sheet on the day we die(a summary):

fixed assets.
dignity......................................$??
house........................................$??
body..........................................$??
vehicles....................................$??
family.......................................$??
knowledge................................$??

current assets
money money money in hands............................$??
some more money in banks..................................$??
food.....................................................................$??
clothes................................................................$??
jobs.....................................................................$???
debtors...............................................................$???

current liabilities.
responsibility towards family...............................$???
responsibility towards the society.......................$???
scholarships........................................................$???
creditors.............................................................$???

total assets minus current liabilities.......positive or negative??

long term liabilities
given life.....................................................$A HELL LOT.
the vow you made in mum's womb................ $a lot
the vow you made 5 times everyday...............$ a lot

net total assets......................................$negative for always.high negative.

capital. ~aka investments!!!
aqidah.........................................................$??
ibadat..........................................................$??
iman............................................................$??

net capital (pahala vs dosa).................$???

do you think you can balance the balance sheet??..
net total assets = capital ?
by the end of the day..turn to the mind and calculate the extent your heart has brought you to.

and here comes the remedy.

2008-08-16T10:54:00.006+08:00

MOCK'S OVER!!!!!!!

yipppeeeee!!! i feel like shouting and screaming and jumping and hugging people in joy after the last paper.wanted to shout out there and then

ALEEEENNNNN!!!!

or FATINEEEEEEE!!!

or FIDAAAAAAAA

or MARYYYYYYY!!

or JIHAAAAAAA!!

or EGGGGIIIEEEEEEE!!!!

or KAAAAAYYYYYY!!

but of course la..no can do.. sadly everybody else smua da balik. sad gille nak mampus. only those sitting for bio paper je yang pegi skola on thursday and friday, and after that last paper 3 kan….ehem…

in class the instant mr soong passed me by taking away the paper

me: siangie..(smiling to siang hang, he sat in front of me, the next row)
siang hang: finally ( he smiled)
ju anne : we're free ( smiled)

outside the class in the hallway by the classroom door

me: freedom comes in the end leganyeee but tak rasa happy sgt kan?
siang hang: ya laa, because all the others are not here to share our joy maa. so unfair. they can celebrate their happiness with us tapi kite..da too late.
me: yeah, and its damn quiet in the school jugak .if they're all in the apartment it wouldnt be too frustrating. the problem is, maryam and jiha da balik, agnes kat genting, and KAY's sleeping! i think i wanna call kay now lah, cant stand it.( and so i called her and happily woke her up)

and then me and ju anne went back in siangie's car.mcm tu je our so called YEAYYYY!! at school. sobs.=(

but putting that 'factor' of frustration aside, i am indeed very relieved that we'd all finished our trial. i think overall, i did quite ok la kot, emphasising the KOT, considering the few unsatisfying answers here and there, the few mistakes and carelessness in some, the few tak cukup masa, and the one BIG WORST FLUNKing ESSAY,.. All those blunders i think i can overrule them with more practice.

PRACTICE NEEDED!

About 80 more days to go, and by November, hopefully I’ll have enough practices. This full format trial really wears me out. Why on earth didn't we have full format exams before? The school should provide us with more than one exposure of this, since last year lagi. Then only we wouldn't have been too surprised and stressed up for two whole weeks. And I could have had a better time management and practice in writing English essays. Feel like crying bila teringat balik that English paper. have you ever experienced finishing an essay which you're very sure that THAT is the best you can do and the best and only ideas you have, but at the same time you're also very VERY sure that THAT is inadequate, too vague plus lack of in depth analysis and that THAT could never guarantee you an A in English. Now when I think of fatin I’ll be thinking of “PEMIMPIIIIIIIN” (with fingers waving at each other).this is just what we all as pemimpin have to go through aite fatin? kita pemimpin.=)

My plan for this holiday. The theme of my august holiday is…

Date with the past years Qs.

Monday

Read ‘An Evil Cradling’ and ‘Wind Sand and Stars’

Tuesday

Do all economics past years’ questions

Wednesday

Do all mathematics past years’ questions

Thursday

Bio. Read biology. Finish up the whole option G and option H. and half of the core subject at least.

Friday

Do all business and management past years’ questions

Saturday

French essays. Practice. And also grammar and vocab.

My 7 year old brother Thalhah pun baru finished his test recently and mak called me just to talk about how funny his answers were, especially for BM.

One question:

Ini adalah baju _________.

Thalhah’s answer: Ini adalah baju SEMBAHYANG!

And he said “sbb kan ayah pakai baju ni kalau sembahyang..”

Ini adalah _________.

Thalhah’s answer: Ini adalah AYAH!

and when asked why he didn’t write down DOCTOR, he said

“sebab man tu nampak mcm ayah je..”

For English, there’s this nursery rhyme, where you have to fill in the blank of the third and fourth lines so that it is similar to the first and second like this:

Piece porridge hot piece porridge cold

Piece porridge in the pot nine days old

Father like it hot father like it cold

Father like it in the pot nine days old

But thalhah wrote:

Piece porridge hot piece porridge cold

Piece porridge I the pot nine days old

Father likes it COLD father likes it COLD

Father likes it in the pot ONE days old.

When asked he said “sebab thalhah rase ayah tak suka makan porridge yg panas sgt and sbb thalhah rasa ayah tak suka makan porridge yang dah lama sampai 9 days old!”

Everything is related to ayah. And as I laughed out loud with my mum over his answers.( well, for one thing, he didn’t go to kindergarten, so this is kinda like his first year really sitting for formal tests, so all of us are very excited in keeping up with how he’s coping), I realised that actually kan, his answers are in fact clever ones. the justifications are arguable for a seven year old. He actually took the effort in understanding the meaning of the words and visualising the pictures and their functions. And he answered based on those creative thoughts, and not based on what the question typed asked for.

Now THAT is the Child Mozart in you, THAT is the Child Mozart that hasn’t been destroyed and kept unattended in the inner garden of the mind, THAT is the work of the GARDENER the guardian of the inner wisdom and THAT is the real MAN, with the spirit breathed upon the clay.

The education system I think to some extent brings the machine-like systematic thinking out of children. maybe its because of the ways the teachers teach which lead to less imagination, I don’t know, coz ye la kan, I came from this same education system jugak. Like what mr masukor says, mathematics actually comes from imagination, it is when you visualise the maths and problems and not seeing it through the numbers on the paper.

tick tock..4 minutes.

2008-08-09T15:06:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum.Saya sebagai Menteri Belia dan Sukan Sri KDU mengalu alukan warga IB utk active menonton SUKAN Olimpik Beijing.Mari kita sama2 mencontohi naziha abdullah yang always thinks about badminton until she HAS to refer batman as badminton, dan awang mohd faizal yang is very concerned about the time we had to go to nadiya's bithday party so as not to clash with Olympic on tv, and be enthusiastic and excited like them dlm menyokong industri sukan dunia.oh yeah! Semoga kita semua sihat wal'afiat insyaAllah.Saya yng menurut perintah: fatimah zahra.

formal enough?

two more subjects to go for mock exam.The two most fretted killer subjects -

BIOLOGY
i doubt whether i can memorise all...

ENGLISH LITERATURE A1
analysing peoms and literature works..comparing and contrasting the evil cradling and wind,sand and stars..

practice zahra.

and a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY i wish to the 7th august girls

YVONNE LAI
NADIYA NAIR
and darling AINUL MARDHIAH

i wish the three of you all the best things in life.

...hurm..teringat pulak the topic debate during f3, 'all the best things in life are free'.

no cooker..no good..no microwave...no mood...no frige..no food..

2008-07-17T19:13:00.005+08:00

go makan at Deli!

get up, earn your wings tonight.

2008-07-17T05:26:00.003+08:00

deeeeep sighs...hiks

after two whole days of no electricity, and one very bad, uncomfortable,unsleep-able, undream-able night

(that night was very bad i tell you, i slept for 6 hours which supposed to be ok la kan, but it felt like one deadly hour, and gille sejuk in the living room,with jiha curi my bantal away and hid it well under her tight hands-and-feet-hug until i couldnt pull it away, so i tried to warm up my kaki and hands underneath maryam's big warm body but to no avail, as she who should be sleeping next to me somehow suddenly turned out to be juanne who contains a lot of muscles instead of heat and fats-this is a loose and periodic sentence i' practising)

in hana's house at the G block, Mr Micheal has finally paid the bills!woohoo!that night was soooo terrible i tell you, with all of us (me, kay, mary, jiha, agnes and juanne) together with the other girls' house (aleen, fatin, fida, aiman, nada and et) packing our stuffs and move in to their place, thank god for the only 3 people in that house.i'd laugh out loud la again and again everytime i remember the scene of us packing-

me- two of my biggest and thickkest bantals, one dubai bag full of books

kay-her bantal, her laptop, her  books

mary- one big bantal, one round pillow, (whats the name da, i forgot), one small square cushion, one selimut, laptop, books, 

jiha- books and books, pillows and one starshaped cushion with eyes and a heart.(for loving purposes)

agnes- laptop, pillow, her BATHROOM SLIPPERS

juanne- laptop, pillows, books, her chargeable lamp which had served us well

and it was SOOOO damn funny, all of us with handsfull of stuffs, basically, the pillows are very obvious la,walking in the dark.the only memory that i could save of our night that tyme is in kay's handphone, and tu pun, not much of photos of our STRUGGLE menuju electicity and civilisation pun, only our FACES ,(not much of a memory i guess) just wish i could take pictures of us walking, too bad my charger WAS lost at the time. WAS LOST you read that maryam!!!next tyme every time i hilang sumthing i'll never NOT check your bag. wahaha.thanks to you i hadnt been takin photos since may, and now my album is lack of 3 months of photos, that is, IF paoie still resists to give me THE PICTURES I TOOK for MYSELF using his camera,eversince the open day in april.haha.

but i dont know la, somehow, i'm not very very angry at mr micheal at all pun. i mean, he did try..even if its not very efficiently and quickly done. he reminds me of ayah, who always procastinate in paying the bills, which every once in a while would leave us with a day or two with either no electricity or no astro or no telephone calls.thankfully there wasnt any experience of no water la.

cant wait to go balik kemaman!! during these stressful tymes,(stressful ke actually?) i really hope that my sisters can study well, mr hakim enjoyed himself in his trip to nz, and me and friends able to prepare ourselves for the trial.its the closest we can get to a real exam, so even if POLITICS and PAS and ANUAR IBRAHIM and INTERNET and FLUCTUATION MOODS OF A TEACHER get in the way, we shouldnt forget our priorities.get up, shape up people.

I am BALANCED!=)

2008-07-14T05:21:00.002+08:00

FROM TICKLE..

Balanced-brained

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.

When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.

While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.

The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

i don't need money, i don't need cars

2008-06-29T05:56:00.003+08:00

this song is like..ages ago, but i've never bothered about the lyric, and when i did yesterday,i was like.omg its sooo sweet.a girl would really feel flattered, the song gives the vision that the girl is too pretty act.erm, yeah fayzal, maybe some of mariah carey's songs are more touching than chris brown's,so show me =P..uuuu uuuu.mane jiha,she's crazy bout this song.haha.

with you..chris brown..

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Hey lil mama, ooh you're a stunner
Hot little figure, yes you a winner, and
I'm so glad to be yours
You're a class of your own and
Ooh little cutie, when you talk to me
I swear the whole world stops
You're my sweetheart and
I'm so glad that you're mine
You are one of a kind, and
You mean to me what I mean to you
And together baby there is nothing we won't do

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... girl
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Oh girl

I don't want nobody else
Without you there's noone left, and
You're like Jordans on Saturday
I gotta have you and I cannot wait now
Hey lil shorty, say you care for me
You know I care for you
You know that I will be true
You know that I won't lie
You know that I will try
Be your everything

'Cause if I got you
I don't need money
I don't need cars
Girl you're my heart

Oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... Yeah

And I will never try
To deny that you are my whole life
'Cause if you ever let me go
I would die so I won't run
I don't need another woman
I just need you or nothing
'Cause if I got that
Then I'll be straight
Baby you're the best part of my day

I need you boo
I gotta see you boo
And there's hearts all over the world tonight
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
They need their boo
They gotta see their boo
Said there's hearts all over the world tonight
Hearts all over the world tonight

And oh, I'm into you and
Girl no one else would do
With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh(girl)
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you... ohhh
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
With you, with you, with you, with you, with you...
Baby yeah

well anyway, i cant wait to start studying!!! knowing that i'll be finished with all IAs by the end of this week, i'll have about 3 weeks to undergo total focussness and 'gerak gempur' for the upcoming trial.yeeehaaaa!

1/maths IAs

all four of them are finished, will pass them up by this monday to mr masukor

2/business IA

will give in the finalised one this monday to mr das(uuugh...grumbling every time i think about the extended waiting time for me to get his reviews)

3/bio IAs
i'll pass up the last report by monday too!hopefully all reports are done well, with deep analytical discussions.i hate science reports to the extent of amat sangat, mr lawrence, you have no idea how tortured i was typing reports.

4/english IAs

world literature essays all done tick!Oral, one done, tick!so what's left if the another oral to go.revisions now!thank you dr reed, i'm beginning to appreciate literature works more and more, think langston hughes and mary oliver..

5/french IAs

the oral is on next friday. go zahra the french girl with the slang.haha.

6/econs IAs

all four commentaries are done!revisions revisions and weekly tests(miss harjit would cancel the weekly tests if non of us give cooperation and show effort in revising and read the textbook before the clas revision starts, these meaningful sentences are condensed into three simple words; SHAPE UP PEOPLE)

i think i've learned a lot about managing assignments, especially about the presentation bit.haha.

no more
'i dont wanna close my eyes, the sweetest dreams would never do coz i miss you babe and i dont wanna miss a thing' on the cover page of essays (even though the essay is about passion and love aka salina and antigone)

no more

unaidillah on the commentary cover pages, (even though unaidillah is the correct spelling)

no more

data collection or theoretical background titles in a different page from its content

no more

preparing orange juice in a beaker, and not measuring it in a measuring cylinder, and comparing the effect of vit c concentration under a cupboard and under the sun.

no more

saying HELLOOOO out loud when entering the english class when the teacher is in a bad mood..
and many more no mores for you, zahra!haha.i've learnt a lot.

so basically, i'm almost done, and almost done with IAs means that i'm almost done with IB..aaa, i really hope i'll get 42 and above. yeah, the most important thing is passing the cut of point of 35, THAT and that alone will ensure whether i'll fly out or not, so yeah, i'm already happy with 35,but getting 42 and above would give the real ultimate satisfaction of victory against the grumbles, hardships and torture of IB in Sri KDU(not IB in general).

insyaALLAH, everything goes well, as ayah always say, perkara wajib, make sure buat sebaik baiknya, baru lah Allah tolong kita. Kalau kita buat baik, Allah pun buat baik kpd kita.

my family came yesterday. went to visit nisa in tkc. ainul's to go to Kolej Teknologi Timur tis monday. congratulations nul, i'm very proud of you, doctor to be. she told me that tok and tokki and ayahngah in pahang were very happy, externally and internally happy explicitly and implicitly happy.hmm..well, they like doctors.

how about a round of applause

2008-06-18T21:18:00.002+08:00

what a day today...lets list down the important incidents i wouldnt wanna forget when i'm over with IB.ahahaha.

first of all, theres our huck finn presentation!my gawd,thank you guys, we were great!..and funny laa.haha.even dr reed laughed out loud!hafiz, you and your tanned' skin colour really reflected jim very well, and the way you row the raft is soooooo NOT like a nigger that it looks wierd, and then you hiding under the blanket attempting to hide from me and fatin is so un'sivilised'.haha.and then theres paoe the goody two shoes sound heart in white, and cousin syed the racist devil deformed conscience in red.both of them played their roles very well.aleen too, the unreliable narrator huck finn,she managed to portray a confused looking huck, pathetic at first yet steady wooo steady.hahaha.i guess its coz she just got her conditional letter from victoria uni in wellington,she's in a very happy mood.congrats leen!!!!i'm so proud of you.haih,but bila my conditional letters nak smpai.i really hope dapat.melbourne would be nice..anu too..(dreamy eyes).anyway,back to the acts, we were very good.the act was well done.ahah, and of course la because of me and fatin,the two most important characters in the act!MUAHAHAHA!i think the problem about our orchestrations so far is, that none of us ever played the characters similar to our own characters in class.i mean, for example,paoe, being boss(he's not that pathetic), sound heart (he's not that kind hahaha)and julius caesar(err??..).but syed is an exceptional la as he always gets the bad guy character, brutus(the killer),zorba(the free spirited man who curses a lot), and the deformed conscience(the bad bad southerners), kinda similar to him in some ways hahahahaha no offense syed.

and ib won many medals and trophies today!the dance!the best debaters for english and mandarin!good good, go ib.we even skipped miss harjit's weekly test to cheer on siang hang and jon mah going up on stage.well, she grumbled la, and unfortunately increased the questions to 6 questions instead of 1,and kept telling us to do it and if possible try to do it in class jugak.(which yvonne did)

and me and pao had our conversation on observation of the day..

paoe:do you think eggie is beautiful?
me:yeah, what about you?
paoe:actually she's quite beautiful la.
me:she does look like amber chia kan?
paoe:amber chia?i dont think so.do you think juanne's beautiful?
me:yeah, juanne tu of course la,inside and outside beautiful.
pao:haha,yeah, inside and outside..hey..see what she's doing..
me:where?
pao:there!sleeping.
such beauty..hahhahahahahahaha.

but i dont know, i wasnt motivated today,in almost everything i did.i had quite a lot of misunderstandings with many people lah this week.i think its my fault.am i too sensitive?haih.am i too sensitive?am i too sensitive?am i too sensitive?am i too sensitive?i should say nO and try attracting that answer to come with THE LAW OF ATTRACTION!

glamourous now or glamourous later?

2008-06-15T22:26:00.004+08:00

maryam's friend died today..in a car accident.his brother watched him die..long story..a head prefect and she used to have a crush on him back in primary school,competing with her best friend who also had feelings for the guy( i dnt know why the heck i'm telling this, it's just so cute to know that maryam had had a crush on someone at such an early age)..innalillah..everything goes back to God,everything returns to him.we're just living here for a short lil while,the happy times are just for a while,the sad times are just for a while, the tough times are just for a while, the easy times are just for a while,the health is just for a while, the sickness is just for a while.you wont know when death will come ringing.sometimes i do think what if i die in two minutes time, i'll have only two minutes to prepare the way and place i wanna die.and how i want people to see me dead.and sometimes when i'm laughing too much i think, what if i die right now, it would be a shame to die in such a way. how ugly would my face looked like. and what about my sins towards humans?i wouldnt have the time to apologise at all,and these people would come looking for me later.pay back the sins, with my deeds.they'd be the very very last persons i'd wanna meet again.and so i realise, i'm not ready. i don't know when i'll ever be. i think about death quite a lot sometimes, tambah2 lagi nowadays so many people i know died.they didnt die because of natural diseases or accidents or fights or whatever, they actually died simply because their time is up.game's over.but humans look for the physical causes, and blame them instead of ajal.which look so much logical,as we can see and investigate.if only tokki is still alive. he would be happy to see Cua's first child, he would be happy to know nisa got to tkc, he would be happy to know ainul got awards for her spm and got an offer to go to poland, he would be happy to know ifa took part in the story telling competition up to the national level at 10 years old,when the last time he saw her,she was only just a baby learning how to walk,he would be happy to know that ayah is not taking dunhill cigarettes anymore, he would be happy to know kak ha's getting married in dec,and abg amir's gonna get engaged,he would be happy to know that i still miss him and i still pray for him,so much he had missed seeing his family progressing. i think if every once in a while, at least once a day, we take the effort to think about death, and about our deeds, we'd all stop procrastinating, and live our life to its fullest.and we'd all think twice about every little thing that we do and say.happy now or happy later?glamourous now or glamourous later?to maryam's friend's family, i'm very sorry to hear the news. redha lah dgn ketetapan Allah. Ajal di tangan Nya.Let's all pray for him.

a few chats now and then

2008-06-10T23:05:00.003+08:00

Had a long chat with Mr Barathidas today during business class. He was shocked to find a file entitled DANIAL'S IA IMPORTANT (a wierd name i guess)saved in the desktop and was even more shocked to know that Nad eats beef sometimes.so he kept on saying jangan..jangan makan,and i realised that he takes that matter very seriously indeed..(respecting the cows, he said, as they are the number one milk provider for the entire world, other than for religious purposes) ---while commenting about how we students sent our business IAs very late, and he had not enough time to check all at once, and how he plans to trus balik rumah as soon as the bell rings so that he can avoid 3 very buggy people- paoe khairul and eggie. Our conversations led us to the topic about relationships, which he in a very serious face,told us never to love someone as much as you love God.Because human loves are not permanent. You die, they cant help you.They find someone else. its not forever.there's no real love among humans, i dont believe in love,he said.

"This is a very important thing i want to tell you zahra and nadiya!look at me.listen.if you are in a relationship, you must only put one foot into it you know, only one foot, until you marry that someone.then only you can step in as a whole. only fifty fifty at first.you know why?coz you must be careful. if you step in with your two feet, if it all crashed, it would be very painful. you might not be able to stand up anymore.but!! if you only put one foot, you can easily step backwards, only one foot will be in pain. you can still walk with the other foot. using a cane or whatever possible.so you can still live and move away. thats life. you must always put one foot at first, in everything. because humans can only plan, God will decide everything. God had preplanned everything for us already.if you didnt get someone you want,that's because you will get someone better"

annnd...as he was still busy talking and explaining, in came paoe asking for a feedback..and later INSISTING to give him a hard copy. i know you paoe, with that look of yours staring straight at his laptop.i know what u'r thinking and why..hahahahhahahahahahha!and afterwards, agnes and khairul came in, smiling and asking and insisting!!the three most UN wanted people of the day.Lucky Mr Das.=)

5 things i bet you dont know about me.

2008-05-25T18:46:00.007+08:00

aaaaaaaahhh ouuuch uuuhh aleen you tagged me!!.tetibe mcm rase sakit kene panah pulak.
hmm..5 things you dont know about me eh?..hmm..dats difficult to answer la..yeah, btol leen, i dont know what you dont know about me.haha.lets see here..

1 i wanted to be a newsreader since i was standard 6.

yeah i know, bila masuk faris, all the teachers told me to become a doctor or an engineer, so at that tyme i've always told people that i wanted to be a nanotech engineer(f3),biotech engineer(f4) and an accountant(f5),but deep down inside, i've always planned to be a newsreader jugak.part time newsreader for nightline at least.i dont know what had got me soo into this newsreading stuff, i mean, you just sit there and read the news on the screen,and your face comes out on tv,emotionless,just reading wit no expressions of sadness towards the news etc, but mmg wierdly, i wanted that so much it had never changed since i was 12 years old.and i think its partly because my grandmother loves watching the tv and she always told me that she likes it if she can see her family members on screen."tok memmang suka benor,setuju sangat laa kalu Awa bace brite!!tok tengok sokmo sokmo"she said.

2 i threw up a lot in the car.

it was sooooo bad!!!kesian sgt our old car.dah la the seat is NOT leather. and kesian my parents, those times must be the nightmares of their lives.every time balik kampung, i'll muntah, even before one hour of traveling. when i was 5 years old, every time we travel, mak will have plastic bags in her hand. and some times a few gayungs. plastic bags and gayungS because every time i throw up, it kinda like affects my sisters as well, so they'll start throwing up in the car too, at the same time. and i kept on getting mabuk in journeys that when i travel to faris, i had to take nausea pills. dont want to throw up in the bus pleaseee.thank god now i'm okay.

3 i used to love Hindi movies.

erm..my arwah grandfather was addicted to those Sunday hindi movies..and since me and my sisters were small, we always teman him watch kat the living room.owh, and, i had lived with my grandparents from birth till i was 5 years old. my parents worked. so i was brought up by them. and i was brought up with hindi movies and songs, but at that time i wasnt really addicted to hindi movies yet, i didnt follow the story lines pun, just watch without reading the subtitles.hahaha. the first hindi movie that i really watched smpai habis which got me hooked up was kush kush hota hai.that was in 1998. after that, i started watching these 3 hour movies, selecting the movies based on the actors. so anyway, i know indian actors and actresses, and i love some of them..i even have cds which i still watch now and then! but i hate these new ones!really dislike their acts and their movies. so i dont watch them anymore now.
the actors i like:shah rukh khan, salman khan, saif ali khan, amir khan, juhi chawla, kajol,manisha koirala,madhuri dixit, karisma kapoor, kareena kapoor, preety zinta, rani mukherji..(these batch of actors)

4. i am the total opposite of my sister ainul.

well, maybe we do have some similarities but i can say, we are 90% the opposite of each other.
lets seeee...i love pink, she loves purple.i dont read complicated, heavy novels, she's addicted to them.i dont move much when i sleep, she moves a lot!i dont like pets, she loves our rabbits and fish and tortoises and chickens.i like blouses, she likes those teenager-like outfits. i like rnb, she listens to rock music and the oldies like the Beatles!i dont like literature much, she's very literary and wanted to be an author for goodness sake! i dont take pictures of the nature, and i dont have the skills for taking pictures, she ALSO wanted to be a photographer!i dont speak when i'm angry,i'll keep quiet and maybe just complain to myself, she snaps, argues, scolds, and speaks her mind when she's mad. i study for exams, she studies coz she loves knowledge.i love roses, she loves orchids. i'm quite irresponsible at times, she's always responsible, especially in protecting and taking care of our adik2.i'm quite sensitive and i can cry over very small matters, she's tough. i dont watch scary movies, she watches them. i dont watch badminton matches or football matches, she sokongs man u.sometimes i think and fantasizes too much, she's always on firm ground, firm believer of reality.i can make friends with strangers easily, she's quite shy with new people.i'm messy, she's neat and organised.i'm not good with technology, she's updated, technology savvy and is well informed of techno-language.i'm patient, she's not, dia cepat marah.and so much more....but we're close to each other. i've never meet anyone so different than me, yet i can live happily with.but yeah, of course la, we fight a lot due to out differences.so just if some people think that me and ainul are alike, well, physically maybe, but personally, better think twice.

5.i once conquered bukit besar kuala terengganu and reached the top in a dress!

with my late tokki and ainul and nisa , we jalan2 and reached the top!!!the top of the hill, and we could see the sea.and i was in a dress! pretty pretty dress that was. and at one night of 2006 when my best friends came to stay over the weekend at my tok's place, i was so crazy, that i dragged my whole family and friends( fariha, bila and suha) up bukit besar at 12 am, and we reached the top, again for me. mak was tired and she held ayah's hand like a kid.hiii. and me and suha were like retarded people when we reached home after that. walking through the memory lane as aleen have stated=)

a few things i think people dont know about me...

and next!i'm tagging
1.paoe
2 yvonne
3faizal
4sianghang

i'm home=)

2008-05-24T22:05:00.004+08:00

everytime i come home..the susunan of incidents will always be the same.~we'll all gather in the living room and have looong conversations of nothingness smbil tgk tv and then mak will tell me to makan kat kitchen, so afterwards i'll be in the kitchen with mak and we'll be eating together and talking about nothing, again, and when i'll have finished, i'll find my laptop bag opened, and nisa and ainul will be using it for sum UNimportant stuffs which they claim to be important, and ayah will be asking me what have i been doing in kl, whether i've been going out a lot and all those i'm-concerned-bout-you-and-you'd-better-be-good questions and then ifa will be talking about all those news she read from the newspapers, with either The Star or the library storybook in her hand..then as usual i'll go first into my study room, put my bag and go through all my items in the shelves and cupboard,from my button collections to picture albums, before going into our bedroom and take a bath.

aaaaaa..the sweet smells of HOME.and the sweet kecoh kecoh of my family.feels good to be home.cant wait to balik kuala terengganu pulak.

only one person has ever bought me a wallet..mak..about 5 years ago,because she kesian me as i couldnt find a wallet in kb mall in kelantan at that tyme when we went out.so she got me a light pink one, which i'm currently using.
and only one person has ever given me a diary..and it was aunty ani, my mum's second cuzen,a present coz i got 5as for upsr and because i got the offer to faris.
so how am to feel when i found a diary and a wallet wrapped in a package on my book rack?..and both of them are beautiful.ok, i knew about the diary..but the wallet?my god,dear,if u intended to make this as a suprise, u honestly really successfully have done it. .thank you.

ooookaaayyyyy zahra! list of homework to do:(according to importance)
1 biology reports. 4 planning and data collection reports.-transpiration, vitamin c, enzyme, height+weight.
2 english huck finn oral commentary.~who shapes huck's sound heart and who shapes his deformed conscience? and connect his character to clarissa pinkola estes's definition of healing innocence.
3 maths IA4.~ last one!cepat finishkan.
4 business and management IA! ~final draft, must send to mr das through e mail.
5 french~grammar revisions and increase vocab.
6 econs~read the whole text book. dont want no revisions by miss harjit.nooo.

zahra, you can do it.be a better student. be a better muslimah.

some stuffs i enjoy doing.

2008-05-22T17:25:00.002+08:00

I love to observe human behaviours, especially behaviours relating to their beliefs and principles. I observe the ways they react emotionally and physically during difficult situations, the strengths of their 'defensive mode’, the basis of their arguments and their filters in perceptions. And every time I do that I’ll be thinking of the many reasons they end up behaving in such ways, and how they behave at home with their parents. Sometimes I even find myself thinking of their past lives and predicting how they are gonna be in the future. When a stranger passes by, sometimes I tend to wonder what he or she is thinking and where he or she is going. ok. Please take note that, I’m not a stalker, but just a harmless observer who does not stare.

For instance kan, i got to know this always smiling little girl Mickey in pottery class. she's so happy go lucky I’ve never seen anyone so much like Hannah Montana as she does. her expressions are all Hannah montana-ish. she meows and barks in class, she hops around the class, sing songs, comments on every little mistakes, asks questions, squeals when she observes my work (in a good way) and gives excuses and persuades Miss Joanne to let her have longer time in finishing her clay work. And she tells me stories! of the history of china's emperors(which her dad told her), of how she paints at home, and of her favourite TV shows. and every time i see this kid i really see Dr Reed's theory of inner wisdom 'the child Mozart' in her.She must have watched a lot of cartoons and Disney channel programs, coz her character seems so much like those Disney characters, you know, lizzie McGuire, Hannah Montana, Kim possible, and i see some rugrats characters in her as well. i cant stop myself thinking of how her character will change when she grows up. it would be a shame if she grows up losing such high energy and motivation as she has right now.

And then there's fariha's grandmother, I call her mok, coz piya calls her mok. I am amazed at the rate of her work, despite her age. A lot!! she's so hard working she cant stay indoors. and because of that she's healthy. Obviously, she loves piya very much. Based on piya's stories about her i must say, she has done a good job in taking care of the family. And I keep thinking about how she might feel whenever she looks back at her children and grandchildren, how she feels now that they are all grown up, how her life was in the past, how she might have looked when she was younger, and such. Nana’s grandmother too, is very kind. You know, some women, like opah, (coz nana calls her opah, so she introduces herself to me as opah as well) have too much love in them, too much, that they have more than enough love for other people outside the family, even strangers. Maybe I’m being oversensitive here, but I really felt terharu with her layanan towards me, that when she hugged me goodbye after I stayed at her place in tanah merah during the weekends I really felt like we’re a family already. i love watching how mothers, young and old, show their love towards their children. All of them, very differently expressed, and when I see one, I wonder how the message if translated by the children. I kinda like talking to old people.maybe it’s because tok likes to give advice, and to share her experience with me, till whenever I’m with old people, I feel like asking about their experience too.

I believe that there is always something good in everyone, even though they may seem too narrow minded, impatient, or selfish. They might not show it to us if we don’t give them a chance, and its not up to us to hate them. During one dinner, I told someone, “tak baik la hating ‘him’”. So my friend here answered, “no I don’t hate him, I just hate his attitude.” So I said, “yeah, ok la if its just the attitude.” Then another friend asked, “bukan ke same je ke?” And my beloved cousin syed said, “yeah, same je la” I quietened myself.

Well guys, I don’t think so la. If you only hate the attitude, you don’t hate the person. You don’t act cold towards that person. You don’t roll your eyes when he speaks. You don’t talk bad about what he does or says or other mistakes he made. Your own attitude towards him won’t change. You only hate that particular attitude, and you don’t associate it with his soul. If you do that, you’re not hating the attitude, but him. I don’t know, some people might disagree but it’s just my perception la.peace.

the toll for my complete ignorance

2008-05-19T12:13:00.002+08:00

i asked the stupidest question ever to jiha..and i regret for even thinking about asking her such stupid question.

"is thomas cup a football championship?"

and she started laughing like a mad cow, and i laughed and blushed like a mad cow jugak.
my ignorance to sports and games has created me to be so outdated! aaaaahhh!! i need sports!!
time for a change of attitude.

something about those yesterdays

2008-05-18T11:56:00.004+08:00

Just got a lecture from agnes yesterday, about me and my so called tak bersyukurness..

Agnes: hey, Zahra you are very feminine.

Zahra: no la. you lagi girly.

Agnes: EH, BEING GIRLY IS GOOD TAU, YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY.YOU SHOULD SAY something like ALHAMDULILLAH!!!

Zahra: ahahahah. Ok3. alhamdulillah.

embarrassed-me.

omg. i shouldnt have bought the french movie ticket. not worth it AT ALL, AT ALL i tell you. menyesal gile. What the heck is the movie about anyway? a story of a jerk doctor who was once a singer in a band and stopped singing when his lover died?(she was his co-singer and she fell off a roof) and then after 10 years he got married but decided to start singing again and then fell in love with his new female co-singer? but then after he dumped his wife and they made love, he was hit by a speeding car(which kept on speeding after the accident) and died on the spot. THE END.

so i ask again...WHAAATTT? i see no moral in the story AT ALL, and what kind of hero was he anyway, dumping his wife for a woman, whose character in the story is very shallow with not much attraction and attitude? just a foil.and that woman already has a kid!why so easily kate that he loves her? haih. the more female defensive i am becoming. and byk censored... such stupid movie. stupid. stupid! stupid. paoe, why didnt i listen to ur advice and watch another instead.. i'll never question your advice and perception dah lah after this.

but no offence to afida=) fida, thank you, you din know its gonna turn out like that when u bought the tickets. good initiative in french-ing up ourselves. At least we got the experience, ahaha and kay was happy enough after the movie for getting to buy her bag and meeting the cutie lil boy in the surau, and I’m just as happy as her for getting to see the French festival art exhibition and FINALLY found magnets for mak.i bought 3 of them,as always,3, knowing that nisa wouldnt have tyme to go shopping 4 mothers day and ainul would be out of ideas on presents for her, and that ifa and thalhah for sure made her cards.so three.as always, me being the thoughtful sister.

that's kay with the boy..well..right after deciding that the kid is cute, kay trus ajak amik gambar..and apparently, the kid loves photo takings.haha.

and the french art festival exhibition.very frenchy with the stage and piano and music, and french products, and croissants and the lamps.wanted to take more pics but then, malu maluu,everybody else xder yg amik pics pun.

and our movie watching outing wasnt very bad.the chronicles of narnia, king Caspian, was my night saver. the trauma, and frustration of watching that French movie was completely healed by narnia! AWESOME movie, everybody should watch it. the pictures and effects were great, and though i dont think this one is as touching as the first, the actions and fightings are more and way better.

there was a scene in narnia which really struck me.. it was when they found their pictures carved on the walls of the ruins. how would you feel looking at the proof of your own existence, 1300 years ago? you're history. once you're dead, some people remember you and some dont. and there's nothing more of life for you in the future except the life down under. That, is forever and ever and at that time it really got me thinking. sooner or later, all of us will be history. the rich and poor will be the same...we'll be history soon guys!!!. our future is death, a confirmed death, an eternal sleep. better start shaping up, and not make our story a negative one to be remembered and told. increase and improve our preparation for the life after.

the game of the week

2008-05-14T19:02:00.002+08:00

i still cant believe we played ayam and musang tadi..i had stopped playing that game for almost 8 years.after cramming in the van swimming was good. plus main that kejar2 game with the newly befriended kids ismah and wazir.there are many points in time where i shifted into the eyes of people passing around and i asked myself what the heck am i playing ayam and musang in the water and laughing my head off like mad like i've never played this before.

budak ismah: tok tok, nak pinjam kunci
budak wazir :nah tapi jgn hilangkan
ismah(getting the ball down under her body and through two feet, the ball jumped up to the surface and was caught by aleen)
aleen:oooo kene buat mcm tu ke..(did the same and fatin caught it)
fatin giggling:(here you go zack, kentut bola)
i caught it and did the same to kay
and kay got the ball down through her two feet, mumbling "i can't believe we're doing this"
budak ismah:tok tok nak kunci
budak wazir:dah bagi dah kan
budak ismah:bagi kat die
aleen:bagi kat die
fatin:bagi kat dia
me:bagi kat dia
kay:SAYE BUANG LAAAA APE LAGI..SORRY

and then it all started.the screaming, the shouting, the jumping,the tarik2 baju with kay screaming "shit i'm the last anak ayam!!",the clinging onto each other with feet around the others' waists,the running in the water,the hiding behind the small little ismah who obviously can do very little in keeping us alive..

and the budak wazir easily tangkap la all of us in the end..each one of us panting and laughing, still hugging each other..and in the end fatin quits, not liking the game=(

looking back, it has been a while since i laugh byk2 like that till my stomach hurts and i had to stop for breaths.it's been a while..and it felt good.to some extent fun being stupid and play boring old children games. my 19 years of age, i think about closely to 80% is spent on studying. should have bring it down to 50%.

i love maryam=)

2008-05-11T12:01:00.002+08:00

AHAHAHAHAhahahahhaha!!!mary kene bayar rm1!!weeeeeeeeeeee!!
maryam, you enlightened my day today by forgetting to susun your kasut.woohoo!love you darling.nanti forget la again and again and again lyke me.ahaks=)

i used to go gaga crazy over michelle branch and her song 'Everywhere'.haha. tadi baru terdengar again..sigh...havent listen to that song for two years already.teringat those days when i was her number one fan..double sighs..

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're--you're never there
And when I sleep you're--you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
You're never there
And every time I sleep
You're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
It's you I breathe
You're everything I know
That makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

HmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmMm..........

demanding girls.

2008-05-10T06:32:00.003+08:00

for the first time yesterday me and jiha filled in the gas for a car!woooooho0000o!!!one accomplishment in reducing our 'darat-ness'. sooo i guess this is what you get for having workers in gas stations in pantai timur.we who don't drive are not yet exposed to angkat tekan dan picit..sobs.=(

a few things i like about going out with my girls, are that we are slow walkers and that we find pleasure in google-ing our eyes at every simple, small, cheap and expensive things there are to be seen, from pink jewellery boxes in the pinky shop to the ties and wallets for guys, instead of going straight to what we want to buy. ish, no wonder la despite the 7 hours of OU-ing we still balik dgn maximum two small plastic bags je each.

i find that girls are indeed very demanding after all :..

1. i was with jiha, browsing through mother's day cards and then suddenly she spotted a hallmark card for mother's day, which stated, "dear wife, you are the best wife, and mummy in the world...i love you..." and she said,"zahra, best nye kalau jiha dapat card mcm ni from my husband nnti,sure terharu gille, romantiknyee, sweet sgt kan?.." and i said,"a'a,xpe, jiha,nnti kita mintak our husbands bagi ek on mothers day" and she replied,"yes, nak paksa" DEMANDING!!!

2. we were in the car and aleen tgh nk turun the tunnel, and kay pun said,"aleen, bawak la laju2, nak rase geli perut bila turun" and aleen rep,"tak boleh laju la sayang, ade lori slow kat depan tu nnti langgar" and kay said,"alaa..if my dad bwk kereta turun this tunnel kan, always rase geli perut sbb dia bwk laju, bwk laju kan best.."
DEMANDING!!!

i guess mothers je yg are not very demanding as agnes said in a conversation with mary and juanne about baju kebaya.
maryam:my mum ada byk baju kebaya
eggie :my mum suka beli baju but not for herself, for her doctor.
maryam: doctor??why doctor?
eggie:daughter laa.she likes to beli clothes for us,not for herself.

hopefully, we'll all be less demanding as we grow older. hahaha.
well, maybe exceptions are for miss harjit, the still very most demanding woman i've ever met, with her signature answer of noooooo for our innocent requests.

miss harjit, can we send the commentary through e mail?NNNOOO.
miss harjit, can we have an extension?NNNOOOO.
miss harjit, can i go to the toilet?NNNNOOO.
miss harjit, you said you want the commentary by today, so can i send it to you before 12 am tonight?NNOOOO.
miss harjit, i havent printed my commentary but its in my thumb drive, so can i go print it now?NNNNOOOOOO!!
miss harjit, can we have a bar of chocolate because we pass up our essays on time?
NNNNOOOOO!!!

females are the complex gender and as i study Clarissa Pinkola Estes's book entitled women who run with wolves, i 'm fascinated by her view of the wild woman in each soul..the inner wisdom of women is actually as wild as wolves??the wild child mozart in us..

from the book Women Who Run With Wolves,
La Loba (Wolf Woman), the old one, the One Who Knows, is within us. She thrives in the deepest soul-psyche of women, the ancient and vital Wild Woman. She describes her home as that place in time where the spirit of women and the spirit of wolf meet —the place where her mind and her instincts mingle, where a woman's deep life funds her mundane life. It is the point where the I and the Thou kiss, the place where women run with the wolves.

The archetype of Wild Woman resides in the guts, not in the head. She can track and run and summon and repel. She can sense, camouflage, and love deeply. She is intuitive, typical, and normative. She is utterly essential to women's mental and soul health.

She is the female soul. Yet she is more; she is the source of the feminine. She is all that is of instinct, of the worlds both seen and hidden -she is the basis.

She is intuition, she is far-seer, she is deep listener, she is loyal heart. She encourages humans to remain multilingual; fluent in the languages of dreams, passion, and poetry.

She is the voice that says, "This way, this way."

She is the one who thunders after injustice. She is the one we leave home to look for. She is the one we come home to. She is the things that keep us going when we think that we're done for.

To adjoin the instinctual nature does not mean to come undone, change everything from left to right, from black to white, to move the east to west, to act crazy or out of control. It does not mean to lose one's primary socializations, or to become less human. It means quite the opposite. The wild nature has a vast integrity to it.

It means to establish territory, to find one's pack, to be in one's body with certainty and pride regardless of the body's gifts and limitations, to speak and act in one's behalf, to be aware, alert, to draw on the innate feminine powers of intuition and sensing, to come into one's cycles, to find what one belongs to, to rise with dignity, to retain as much consciousness as we can.

Alhamdulillah is all there is to say.

2008-05-07T18:01:00.006+08:00

i know my english sucks, especially grammar yang tak tersusun, terbalik smua, and my bio reports already way out of the due dates and still i haven't hantar half of them , but from the bottom of my heart, i give my warmest,most enormous sepenuh penuh gratitude to mr shaw for his confidence in me getting 42, till he signed the uni applications with my predicted ib score of 42 . Alhamdulillah..and THANK YOU SIR. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.wooohoooo!won't let you down mr shaw.=)actually all of us can do it la, i complained for one whole year last year, but actually, ib's not too bad, its not too hard, you just need a lil bit of adaptation and hardwork and you'll be ok.
we're the last batch for this ib syllabus..for econs, starting next year, there'll only be 3 commentaries to do instead of four and no more short answer questions in xm, and for business admin, the internal assessment is more of case studies rather than one whole long IA.typical batch of mine. always the last.whyyyyyy oh whyyyyyyy????

The thing i discovered today:
"fatin tak suka main games yang guna alat2 and yang guna bola.."
haha, so here we are, training fatin to play ping pong in class after pao proudly defeated syafik.

owh and hey, that's MY pink water bottle on the table btw, as the net there. lalalalala.
my contribution for games and sports.

the perfect justice and equality

2008-05-05T16:55:00.003+08:00

i HATE maryam's rule!!!i HATE maryam's rule!!!

that so called rule of the house that unfairly leaves me short of rm3 just because my pretty shoes which are indeed too pretty were not kept back on the shoe rack is the perfect example where injustice rules the world and the innocents are left to fend for themselves and to appeal for ignorance.where is the principles based on moral constraint against harm, and where are the healing innocence in the lives of girls??so the blacks had fought for justice and equality, and had affected all the perceptions and spirits of people over the world. justice must be brought back into this house of eug7. fight till the last breath.

i am sooo gonna sleep on maryam's bed tonight and not wake up until three and if she sleeps next to me i'll make sure i'll conquer more that three quarter of the bed!

so there.

equality is sweet.

so you had a bad day.

2008-05-04T07:25:00.003+08:00

now zahra lets get back to work.no more emo-ing around due to lack of sleep, u've just had enough 8 hours tadi. usrah's tonight,kay's coming back tonight, jiha and juanne too, and mak's gonna call. most probably you'll only have time to do english BEFORE tonight.

i regret a few things i did yesterday..

1 did not finish up my maths when i promised myself to
2 did not go to paoe's cousin's engagement
3 did not call tok or cua, i missed them terribly
4 did not eat the whole day

all because of coffee!!!why is it that all of a sudden, a cup of coffee prevents me from sleeping for 40 hours and from feeling hungry for 24 hours??? juju and leen are immune to it already. and shudn't i be too with me drinking coffee 3 times a week nowadays?.well..apparently..not yet kot. anyway, Nul, fyi, i called the house a lot of times and nobody answered.and when i called you, maxis line buat problem pulak and mak's busy so can't talk. felt really down, just so you know.

i get saddened by small matters easily. but i'm proud of myself for having enough training on how to cope with bad days and for never taking those feelings as factors that affect my relationships with people around me. so basically, people don't get sarcastic remarks or blind eyes or muted ears even during my worst days haha. but i feel better now, after talking to fatin, and then chatting with close farisian friends i've been longing to meet, and then getting a buzz from cousin syed, and finally getting 8 hours of sleep before subuh.yeay!!!!i'm rejuvenated!so zahra, go back to work! econs waiting.

dialogue of the day yesterday that cheered me up:

zahra:so leen,u guys jadi ke pegi kat engagement tu?whats the plan?

aleen:kitorg hantar la paoe, kesian die tak ada transport.dia kate maybe food da habis da sbb lambat, so after kitorg hantar, we go makan lunch somewhere else la.actually aleen malas nak pegi.

fatin: fatin ikut la kalau aleen nak pegi fatin pegi.

agnes:i nak pegi.

zahra:paoe is lucky. he has very good girlfriends here.

aleen:yeah you're right.he should be grateful and appreciate us and...

zahra:and not take us for granted.

agnes:huh?? girlfriends??

fatin:zahra jom nyanyi.

zahra+fatin:Eggie,Eggie,engkaulah ratu hati Chan.bilaaaa Chan berduka, engkau
hiburkan selalu.Eggie,Eggie, engkaulah ratu hati Chan.

maryam:hahahahahahahahahahah.cacat!!

Ainul the Medoh Bug

2008-05-03T01:24:00.009+08:00

ainul texted me a few hours ago..after she observed hakim's, haziq's and hadif's brotherly love and protection towards their baby sister syurfa' (these boys are those naughty lil boys who play rough and fight a lot and like chasing and kicking and punching girls including me).
well anyway, ainul texted:

i wish i had a big brother.i wish you were a GUY!

Nul..

after all the years i sacrificed by sharing mak and ayah's attention with you

after all the picture frames and photo albums and trading boxes and scrap books and birthday cards and clothes i helped you make

after all the ear rings i searched for you

after all the nights you woke me up coz you cant sleep and the nights i stayed up because you asked me to stay up with you

after all the books i bought for you( and also those i let you read first)

after all the drawings and paintings i made for you

after all those milkshakes we made which were too much and nobody likes it and we're forced to finish it up

after all the secrets of what we did to the house when mak and ayah were away which we din tell them

after all the add maths classes i gave you

after all the joy i shared when you won against me in all those non competitive competitions we had from you being the first one to stop drinking milk in bottles to you being the way better debater

after all those hours i spent reading your Enigma( though i dint finish it up)

after all the Barney and Friends songs and Fun Song Factory songs and Sing Along songs we sang over and over again

after all the forgiveness i've given you for breaking my music box and throwing up on my clean beautiful feet while i was sleeping and you were sick

after all the tears we shed together when tokki died and our rabbits eaten up by dogs

after all the mosquitoes i killed when we camped outdoors..

THIS IS WHAT YOU WISH FOR???!!!!!

YOU ARE SOOOOO DEADMEAT GIRL

WAIT TILL I COME HOME!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

The Edge of Limits.

2008-05-02T07:28:00.004+08:00

since i was a kid, ayah told me never to believe in horoscopes, and even though i know the reasons through the perception of islam, i kept wondering about the perceptions of other religions and what if it's true, cos so many people do strongly believe in it.if it's haram in islam, then those educated people must have surely seen the fallacy in horoscopes too, and that what they predicted are not true, right?..at that tyme, well,i never ask around..

you can't believe those who predict the future, everything is in the hands of Allah, and He creates the nature to function in such a way that, as an astrologist told me, "the movements of the planets and the moons and the stars, can influence our emotions, energy, health, and personality"

i was very attracted to this newfound knowledge from that someone who said that all humans are interlinked to nature,the universe and their cycle. the cycle of nature affects their personality and with enough information; birth date, time, and latitude of birth place, one can predict almost everything,your personal character, your hopes for the future, your love life, what you're scared of, and even your past. so i thought.."really? but there must be a limit in believing in such knowledge right??.." and i was right.according to kak salwa, you can believe that people born in different months have so and so type of characters and the birth time gives so and so kind of personality..but you can never predict the future and fortune..rezeki, jodoh, ajal maut..those are all in the hands of God.

Muslims have been studying astrology for centuries, and since then we have astrologers predicting the future and some ending up being true. So these small fraction of knowledge of the nature, can alter the iman in you especially if you have a first hand experience. now these all come back to the basics of your belief- rukun iman. take note that whoever believes in astrologists, he's approaching syirik.

fortune telling is haram in islam. and the reasons are valid. astrology is the belief in the physical influence of planetary rays on earth and from that, astrologers can predict. whether the predictions are true, Allah knows it all, and His knowledge is sooo out of our boundaries. He's the One who creates those planets and He's the One who controls the whole universe. so why do we turn to these planets to tell us what is going to happen when the planets themselves are being handled? these planets have no power on us, Allah does.the larger knowledge of astrology is only in the hands of Him. maybe the planets are indeed given the opportunity to have some effects on earth, just like how Allah gives Mr rain the opportunity to make us wet and Mr sun the opportunity to provide heat and light. yes, and some humans who gain a part of this knowledge, think that we need to rely on these planets. but they are all still under His control anyway. so why believe in predictions when Allah can change the whole constellations and cycle of the planets in a nick of time? this situation plays around with your belief of the qada' and qadar. if you believe in the planets, then maybe there's no more need for prayers as the planets will decide your jodoh and death and all.

i browsed through the net and came to a few good sites, some of them are these: http://www.jyotish-remedies.com/islam_vedic_astrology.htm and http://www.allaahuakbar.net/barelwiyat/ruling_on_horoscopes.htm and
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503547696

so, just wanna share, coz i've been thinking a lot about the extent of believing in astrology myself.=)

counting down the minutes..

2008-04-28T20:21:00.002+08:00

tonite.. tonite..

osemmy 28th

and

sayyidi 29th

so tonite..

insyaAllah..

sweet 19 you guys, both of you!!

Tribute to teachers

2008-04-28T06:12:00.003+08:00

Teachers are all different and they teach you in different ways of different things. You get teachers like Dr Reed and Teacher Rozie, who are such perfectionist that they tend to complain, get angry easily sometimes too often,and never hesitate to scold you harshly even your slightest mistake.You might respect them or you might be scared and end up hating them.. You get teachers like Miss Harjit, Cikgu Noterzam, Teacher Ziela who show more of their motherly love side to each and every one of their students, regardless of their achievements and attitude..well. maybe to some certain extent..and they give you more motivation in being humans with feelings and consideration rather than excellent robots with big brains and ideas.And then we have those discipline teachers who knows nothing about smiles and jokes, only rules and rules and more rules. and also those who are damn dedicated like Mr Lawrence-the-in-the-lab-sleeper, Cikgu Ramli and Cikgu Mat Daud, that you never have the feeling of boredom in their classes and you feel that you HAVE to get A in their subject as you'd feel guilty if their hard work is not paid off. And of course lah we have those teachers who don't really teach..procrastinate a lot and tend to talk of irrelevant memories and theories in class which for some students, are very irritating. One thing i learned after all these schooling is, that teachers are all there to help you learn more about yourself. Whether they are good teachers or bad teachers, it is not for us to judge. The more we complain about them the stupider we get.And the stupider we get..well..then we just wont learn anything.Each teacher contributes to your understanding of the world, of human behaviour, of theories and knowledge, of responsibility, of hopes and aims for the future.Even the worst ones give you an example of a bad employee, a figure whom you should not become one.. by 30 you'll be looking back at your life and you'll realise how much teachers have influenced your characters and attitudes in facing the world. and i mean SCHOOL TEACHERS.

Sri KDU International Baccalaureatte Diploma Programme Teachers=)

jiha eggie me in pizzahut

2008-04-25T03:15:00.001+08:00

Oh god i cant help loving this pic.JIHA YOU'RE SOOOOO CUTE!!

pizzariyya

2008-04-25T02:16:00.003+08:00

THANK YOU kay and jiha and eggs for getting 3rd place in bowling!!you three just dunt noe how happy i was to be able to makan pizza after such a loong tyme.So for JIHA, keep on practising.future strikes are very much welcome=) and eggie, you can always improve. dont worry.and kayriya!you're gooood.

Juanne trying to be silly

Kay showing off her pizza

Maryam cant wait to eat,eagerness shown in the eyes

agnes smiling

jiha being ayu in baju kurung
thanks guys!really enjoyed it,- our FAMILY TIME.

The time should have been loong ago instead of NOW.

2008-04-21T04:10:00.002+08:00

Here i am early in morning thinking of tomorrow. Feel like failing my IB.

Things to do MONDAY:

1 EE. Wanna check my EE again pleeeaaasssseeee Miss Harjit pleeeaseee..i'm all on my knees. on all four if i must.
2 Biology reports..Forgot the AIM for report 5 and 6..gotta ask Mr Lawrence.
3 Business Commentary.Geram with MR Das.gotta review the topic with him again.
4 Maths IA. wanna check my previous IAs and ask his comments bout them.
5 English oral. Huck Finn! i NEED a perfect 7 FAST.
6 CAS forms. err..

suddenly rase unconfident pulak with myself, with fayzal telling me that both of us haven't been improving while the others have.( based on the 2nd evaluation la).

no more procastination. go go zahra the (as fatin says), the maths IA girl!

The Impact of Fatin's Chicken Nuggets..

2008-04-19T11:50:00.003+08:00

ib life is sooooooo stressfull and depresssiinggg..and while looking at fatin sleepily cleaning up the plate a moment ago filled with chicken nuggets, i've just realised that, weekends are sooooo fun cuz there's no school!!duh what am i saying..suddenly i feel like giving "intelligent , never-to-be-thought-of" quotes like the one framed in the school library:

>>"Children learn to read by the presence of books"<<

double duhs.

owh and hey.blog alert!blog aler t! paoie, leen,fatinii,sayyidii and fayzzz..i FINALLY have my own blog! after many "i'm-creating-my-blog-today"s but end up with delays since the 1st of jan.

can hear siang hang's voice already..WAAAVVEEEE.